Saturday, October 06, 2007

Bette Davis died 18 years ago today

The great actress Bette Davis died 18 years ago today at the age of 81. Here is an interview she did with Barbara Walters. Part I:



Part II:



Bette Davis Eyes by Kim Carnes - the #1 song of 1981:



Now, Voyager (1942)

Interactive LED coffee table... now I want one!

Friday, October 05, 2007

The Moncton SPCA has a new website!

The Moncton SPCA has a new website, everyone! Go to http://www.monctonspca.ca/ to check it out. It's a work in progress and the English will be completely online by the end of October. The French will also be uploaded soon afterwards. All the shelter's animals are currently online at the new website! Awesome!

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Chiming in on those trendy urban scourges

Hump Day
Published Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Appeared on page D6, Moncton Times & Transcript

It's October already, which means that fall is now fully entrenched and the trees are shedding their yellow, gold and red leaves in favour of the naked branches they'll wear until that new batch of buds bursts into leaves next spring.

Leave it to the trees to show us all just how bloody macho they are! As soon as the fall weather arrives, they just strip naked and stand there in all their glory in the cold rain, snow and wind. I guess that shows us, eh? Show-offs!

I, for one, have already started playing Christmas music. I do this every year. I usually start playing the holiday tunes way too early in order to put me in a good mood or relax me. Unfortunately, by the time the big day actually rolls around, I'm already super duper sick of all the carols, sleigh bells and ho ho hos. For my own sanity, I'm going to put a very strict moratorium on this until at least after mid-November.

October is my favourite month. Nice and cool. And there's always a stiff breeze blowing outside to rustle up those fallen leaves. There's nothing I like more than to open up my windows in October and listen to the wind going through the trees, the cool air wafting through the house. The wonderful aroma of autumn. Ah. Nothing like it.

Unfortunately, this is just my own personal fantasy. In real life, whenever I open my window on a blustery fall day, all I hear are the sounds of wind chimes coming from a variety of neighbours' yards. (If you're my neighbour, please don't feel insulted. Everyone else in the neighbourhood has them, too. So if you don't hate me already, you certainly will after this column.)

You see, I detest wind chimes. I think they're evil. Absolutely pure "grade A" authentic badness. In fact, if I only had one shell left in my shotgun and it came down to a choice between shooting down some wind chimes or killing the bear that had my best friend in the clutches of its huge, toothy jaws, I'm pretty sure that my best friend would be out of luck.

At least my friend would die relatively quickly. After a few bone crunches and blood-curdling screams, it would be all over. But wind chimes, well, they just live on. They're like flies that keep appearing on window sills all winter long. You never know where they come from. You just know they're there by their bings and bongs.

Bing. Bong. Bing. Bong. If that annoying wind chime tune isn't enough to make me cry like a little girl who just burned a batch of "Dora the Explorer cinnamon sticks" in her Easy Bake Oven, I don't know what is.

(For those of you who don't realize how hard I work to make you smile, I actually went online to look up the names of real Easy Bake Oven mixes for that last attempt at humour. Out of respect for my hard work, please at least crack a semi-sincere grin or try to fake a half-hearted chuckle, would you? Thanks ever so much.)

Those who love wind chimes love them a lot. They like nothing better than to sit outside and listen to those (apparently) relaxing sounds drifting through the air around them. The soft tones of the metal, wood or ceramic chimes are peaceful to them.

Personally, I'd rather have someone shine my eyeball with sandpaper. I mean it. You think I'm joking? Just try me. I'm telling you right now that I will lie in the middle of the street and literally shine my eyeball with sandpaper out of pure glee if -- for example -- city council ever makes wind chimes illegal.

There, I've thrown down the gauntlet. The challenge is on. Perhaps I should run for mayor. All my campaign buttons would be made of the grittiest, most painful sandpaper ever -- sandpaper with a really high number on it. Or is it a really low number? I learned that in shop class years ago, but I can't remember how it goes now.

Anyway, back to those buttons. Sandpaper printed with a photo of wind chimes with a big red "X" through it. The anti-wind chime campaign. Vote for me! (Insert sound effect of wild applause and screaming groupies here.)

Don't laugh at me. I'll do it.

Whoa. I think I need medication. This column started off so sweet and innocent. I even did research on Easy Bake Oven mixes, folks! Then, the next thing you know, I'm all over the map and lying in the middle of the street sandpapering my eyes.

Wouldn't it be terrible if some poor unsuspecting Girl Guides or Boy Scouts showed up at my house one day for their annual fund-raiser and all they had to offer me was a catalogue full of wind chimes? "Did the big man with the 518 cats buy a wind chime, Sally?" "No Mommy, he just said a bad word and started rubbing his eye with some of that paper Daddy uses in his workshop. I got scared and ran."

Am I alone in this? Am I the only person out there who thinks that wind chime owners are right up there with Satan, serial killers, bank robbers and people who put their Christmas trees up on Nov. 1? Gosh, I hope not.

Just promise me one thing: Send me a file in a cake when I get sent to jail for snipping down all the wind chimes in my neighbourhood. It may not be nice, but the peace and quiet of a nice comfy prison cell will be so worth it!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Happy 70th birthday to my mother!

My mother - Freda Cormier - turns 70 today! Happy birthday to you... and many many more! While I spend my days at work and/or in front of my computer at home, she spends her days renovating her house with her husband, Val, tending to their huge garden... and a million other things. She has an energy level that puts most people to shame!

Today's Hump Day column: Chiming in on those trendy urban scourges

Hi everyone! Don't forget to check out today's Hump Day column on the editorial page (pg. D6) of today's Moncton Times & Transcript. Today's column is all about my hatred of one of the most evil devices ever invented: wind chimes. I'll post it online tomorrow, but in the meantime pick up a copy of the paper and check it out!

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Nestlé's Quik

I remember drinking this as a kid and all I got were big chunks of unincorporated soggy powder in my mouth. Yuck. Since 1999, the product has been called simply Nesquik. Awww hell. Now I want some. I'll try to get my hands on some sugar-free stuff.

The great Edith Piaf

If you've never heard of Edith Piaf, then you haven't had the pleasure of hearing one of the great legendary voices in music. Students taking voice lessons should cross themselves at the mere mention of her name - a name that should only be uttered in hushed tones as a sign of respect!

La vie en rose



Non je ne regrette rien



Hymne à l'amour



Les trois cloches



Milord



Mon manège à moi



Emporte moi / Bravo pour le clowne


Padam Padam

Powerful Dove ad aimed at parents of girls

What an awesome ad.

This week's Hump Day column...

... is all about something so evil in our society that I truly believe it's worse than Satan, serial killers and bank robbers all put together! Read all about it on the editorial page of tomorrow's Moncton Times & Transcript.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Retro animation: Musical Lulu

Here's a Little Lulu cartoon. I used to read her comic books when I was a kid, but her cartoons weren't seen very much.

Worst commercial narrator ever!

This is an ad for the Webcor tape recorder and alarm clock (1970).
The narrator is just awful. I wonder if they actually sold any of these things?

Park-A-Matic

This looks really cool at first, but can you imagine how fast the thrill of watching that mechanism would wear off? I mean, really... Would kids really play for hours at this... parking cars?

I just love these old commercials, though. For one, they're so long! These days, anything over 15 seconds is considered useless.

Julie Andrews is 72 today

Singer and actress Julie Andrews is 72 today. Here she is performing a medley of songs at the 1991 Tony Awards:

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Justin Timberlake: Best SNL guest host ever!

Comedian Eric O'Shea's very funny bit on songs used in commercials

Moncton SPCA pet portraits: Saturday, October 6

Come have your pet's portrait taken on Saturday, October 6, at the Moncton SPCA, 116 Greenock Street in the Caledonia Industrial Park. Check out the poster for all the pertinent info. Don't forget to call ahead for an appointment. Click on the poster for a larger version.