Saturday, March 29, 2008

Comedian Mitch Hedberg died three years ago today

Popular comedian Mitch Hedberg died of a drug overdose three years ago today on March 29, 2005. He wasn't a household name, but you'll certainly remember his unique delivery style.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Long-time Moncton city councillor Norm Crossman passes away

I just heard the news that long-time Moncton city councillor Norm Crossman has passed away. He died this morning. Crossman was also a past mayor of Lewisville before it was amalgamated into Moncton. His lasting legacy in the Lewisville area is definitely the Kay Community Centre, which he strongly supported. Click here for his obituary and funeral details.

My appearance on this morning's CBC Radio Moncton's Information Morning political panel

Click here to listen to my appearance this morning on CBC Radio Moncton's Information Morning political panel. Today's issue was language.

Idol Chatter for March 27, 2008: "And then there were 9"

Well, folks... the Top 10 are now officially the Top 9. Did Kristy Lee Cook's manipulative but brilliantly strategic song choice of God Bless the U.S.A. save her from elimination? Did Chikezie's Luther Vandross impression land him in trouble? Did Ramiele Malubay's voice-wrecking flu send her home to mama? Was there a shocker early exit? Check out who was sent home last night by clicking here to read the column online. Watch the Top 9 perform next Tuesday at 9 p.m. on Fox.

Willing away the flu... with lots of medication

Hump Day
Wednesday March 26, 2008
Moncton Times & Transcript, pg. D6

I know that everyone hates being sick, however I doubt that anyone hates it more than me. Seriously... I'm not a good patient. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I'd be quietly euthanized if I ever found myself in the hospital.

I especially hate it when the flu or a bad cold hits you out of nowhere. You know the kind. One minute, you're fit as a fiddle; the next, you're looking through the telephone book for a funeral home that does pre-emptive pick-ups. "Just come get me now. I probably won't live through the night, considering the way I feel right now."

I hope my casket is nice. It's important to be laid out in something half-decent, at least, considering the amount of time you'll be spending in your new abode. Try eternity, huh? Good reason to pick out one that you like. And unlike houses, you don't have to worry about resale value unless your family is exceptionally cheap and wants to double-up on occupancy as relatives start dropping off. With my luck, I'd end up spending eternity with flatulent Uncle Bert.

As I write this column, I think I'm getting sick. I was fine one minute earlier in the day, and now I'm feeling like things are going downhill fast. I'm stuffed up, my eyes are glassy and I'm starting to feel generally yucky. (Not exactly a term you'll find in the medical books, but something that everyone can understand.)

Last year, I managed to avoid getting sick all winter. Eventually, however, I did catch a nasty cold -- in July! I mean, seriously, who gets a cold in July? Well... me! It was a bad one, too. Canada Day was spent sneezing, blowing my nose and generally being ill. Had I gone for a stroll through the palliative care wing, I firmly believe that the patients there would have taken pity on me and offered their morphine to make me more comfortable in my "dying days". I was pitiful, I tell ya.

You see, I don't just get sick. I get paranoid, too. "What if this stuffed-up nose and sore throat are just symptoms of something much worse? What if they never go away? Maybe I'll be sick forever. I'm never going to feel better!"

So, as I sit here at my computer once again composing a column, I greatly fear that another one of those "biggie" colds has arrived. Luckily, however, I've found the combination of over-the-counter medications that works wonders for me. In fact, it's so good that I don't even feel like I have a cold when I take the stuff.

Unfortunately, the dose I take could likely be qualified as semi-lethal. That would explain the hate mail from my liver lying on my pillow when I wake up the morning after taking such a concoction.

I should take my own advice -- the advice I give whenever I see someone else doing something really dumb like that: "Don't come crying to me if you wake up dead tomorrow."

Well, I'm willing to take my chances if it relieves the symptoms, which it usually does. Of course, I'm probably also taking enough to cure the colds of everyone living in a 10-kilometre radius, too, but as long as it makes me functional again, I don't really care. Colds don't normally wait for a convenient time to hit. They usually only strike when the timing couldn't be worse. Since I really don't have time to be sick these days, I fully intend on beating this little annoyance of a cold that seems to be taking hold.

I'll pop the vitamins, a bunch of the cold-busting medications that are out on the market now and various other so-called miracle drugs that claim they will stop this cold dead in its tracks. I'm in charge here, buster, so I have to put my foot down and not let it through the door.

Sorry, Mr. Cold, I have other plans. You just turn that feverish, stuffed-up, miserable little behind of yours around and march right out the door back to where you came from. I've got places to go, people to see, meetings to have and columns to write. You were not invited and I just don't have time for your sneezin' shenanigans.

There's a school of thought that believes simply willing illness away will work. I believe that, actually. I often just refuse to get sick. If I'm too busy, I can talk myself out of it, usually. I believe that this is one of those times. Because I just have too many things on the go right now to worry about getting sick, I just refuse to. Through a combination of positive thinking and medicating myself into oblivion, I usually get to feeling better in no time -- likely due to the brain cells I'm killing.

Of course, there are times when that certain cold or flu just grabs hold and won't let go. You cough so hard that you see stars. Your ears are plugged up so tight that you wonder what it was like to hear normally. Your nose is so stuffed up that you fear getting kidnapped and having your mouth taped shut because you'll surely suffocate. And you sneeze so loudly that zebras drinking out of rivers in Africa raise their heads from the water to see what all the fuss is about.

But rest assured, dear friends, this will not be one of those times. I can already feel myself getting better. My liver is complaining. I've made multiple trips to several pharmacies buying them out of cold medication, enough to send me into a stupor so deep that I will forget my own name and likely even what species I am.

Nope. This cold will not be allowed to take hold. I will beat this thing. Cough... I will... Sneeze... I swear... Cough...

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Moncton SPCA job opening: Animal Control Officer

The Moncton SPCA, the largest animal shelter east of Montreal, is currently seeking a full-time Animal Control Officer. The position is open to both male and female applicants.

Terms:

- 40 hours per week
- Times subject to shift bid
- Salary as per collective agreement starting at $11.31 per hour

Qualifications:

- Bilingual preferred
- Self-motivated
- Able to work well unsupervised
- Hold a valid class five driver's licence
- Animal control experience an asset
- Able to work outside in all types of weather

Duties:

- Work on the animal control team
- All aspects of animal control including - but not limited to - the following: licence sales, park patrols, issuing fines, gathering of information in complaint cases, attending court cases as required, handling of stray animals
- Must know the bylaws regarding animal control and be able to answer questions and explain concerns about them
- Go on pick-ups (food, bodies, etc.)
- Work with City Hall officials and media
- Animal care attendant duties when assigned
- Working with the public to create a positive image
- Others duties as may be assigned
- Be familiar with crematorium duties
- Share on-call duties

Please apply in writing with a cover letter and resume via e-mail, fax or regular mail to:

Nanette Pearl
Shelter Manager
Moncton SPCA
116 Greenock Street
Moncton NB E1H 2J7
Fax: (506) 854-1473
E-mail: nanette@monctonspca.org

Deadline for receipt of applications is Monday, April 7, 2008, at 5 p.m. No telephone calls, please.

Today's Hump Day column: Willing away the flu... with lots of medication

Hi everyone! Don't forget to check out Hump Day on the editorial page of today's Moncton Times & Transcript. Today's piece is all about the fact that I thought I was getting sick when I wrote the column. (By the way, I didn't get sick... but I thought for sure that I was.) I tend to over-medicate myself when I'm not feeling well and my liver hates me for it. Pick up a copy of today's Times & Transcript or read the column online when it will be posted here tomorrow.

Happy Hump Day!

Idol Chatter for March 26, 2008: "Surprises blend with the predictable"

Good morning! The Top 10 performed songs from the year they were born last night. One contestant was so sick and tanked so badly that they may be in danger tonight. Another early favourite did not get the boost they needed to stay in the competition for much longer. Another early favourite who needed a boost got it. One is being hailed as "the most original contestant" the show's ever had, but I think they're a complete clone of a contestant from a previous season. To find out who, click here and read the column online. Don't forget to check out the results show tonight at 10 p.m. on Fox.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Monday, March 24, 2008

Like father, like son


Looks like former NHL goalie Patrick Roy's legendary issues with anger run in his family. His son has evidently inherited Dad's bad temper.

"Quebec Remparts goaltender Jonathan Roy got into fights with two different players on Saturday night as part of a larger brawl between his team and the Chicoutimi Sagueneens." ... "While officials initially restrained Roy, he went after Nadeau in the Sagueneens' end after the officials left him alone to go deal with other fights. Jonathan ripped Nadeau's mask off and pounded his opponent. Nadeau just took the blows and didn't defend himself. As Roy skated away, he gave the middle-finger salute to the crowd at the Centre Georges-Vezina in Chicoutimi."

Click here for more. They both need therapy. Seriously.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Easter, everyone!


Here's wishing that you all have a peaceful, joyous Easter.

Here's a cool video on how to use natural dyes for your Easter eggs:



And finally... here's "Here Comes Peter Cottontail" performed by Danny Kaye: