Brian Cormier's Blogtastic World!

Please visit my other blog!

2011-06-01T21:28:00.006-03:00

Hi everyone! Brian Cormier's Blogtastic World is taking a break while I figure out what to do with it. In the meantime, please visit my website/blog for many of the same features you see here, including my columns, featured YouTube videos, etc.

Charlieissocoollike: Stop procrastinating!

2011-05-17T09:44:00.006-03:00

Mexican town goes mad for pointy boots

2011-05-16T07:15:00.001-03:00

No, this isn't from The Onion... this is real!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s May 11, 2011, episode — Top 4 performance show

2011-05-12T13:10:00.000-03:00

Last night on American Idol, the Top 4 sang songs of inspiration in the first part of the show and — in the second part of the show — performed from the songbook of Jerry Leiber and Mike Stoller under the mentorship of the one-and-only Lady Gaga.

I think the big question mark tonight is which one of the girls is going home. Can Haley survive again? Will the youngest contestant, Lauren, make it through to the Top 3? Check out my prediction in today’s Idol Chatter column by clicking on one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune into Fox tonight at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern to find out who goes home!

Hump Day: Just because Osama bin Laden is dead, we're not necessarily safer

2011-05-12T11:54:00.000-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

I would dare say that most people in the western world were reasonably pleased to hear of the death of Osama bin Laden. It's difficult to have much pity or sympathy for someone who wanted nothing but death and destruction for our society and way of life.

Still, I felt uneasy about those who waved American flags and cheered in front of the White House two Sunday evenings ago after Mr. bin Laden's death was officially announced by U.S. President Barack Obama. It certainly wasn't because I was sorry to see him go. It just felt odd cheering on the death of someone - anyone.

With that said, I have to admit that there are a couple of people I know whose death would elicit a broad smile from me - albeit when no one is watching. I think we all have a few people in our lives like that.

Sometimes, people just don't mesh - to the point of not caring if they live or die. Particularly toxic relationships with others can lead to strong feelings of dislike - even hatred. I'm not proud of it, but there are few people I would dance a little jig about if I heard they met their maker.

I just don't think I'd do it too publicly. Is standing over a grave of someone you hate while whistling "Ding Dong the Witch Is Dead" from The Wizard of Oz considered to be tacky or in poor taste? It probably is - but only if someone catches you doing it. If I ever end up doing that, you can be sure that I'll do it in the middle of night when there's no one else around in the graveyard except zombies and ghosts.

Oh, it's always harmless fun until someone loses part of their brain to a hungry zombie, eh? Unfortunately for them, the zombies won't have much to munch on with me.

I was impressed by the American administration's restraint at not wanting to show too much glee in Mr. bin Laden's death. Were they happy? Of course! But, I have to admit that I was pleased to hear President Obama proclaim that they didn't have to "spike the ball" by releasing the death photo. (Football players who score a touchdown often throw the football to the ground in celebration immediately afterwards - "spike the ball.")

Had Obama spiked the ball, so to speak, I'm not so sure that the outcome would be terribly different. Mr. bin Laden's sympathizers have already vowed revenge. By not spiking the ball, I doubt America's enemies will be much nicer in the aftermath.

Regardless, it's just all very scary. Terrorist acts have been averted in the past - some by pure luck, others by good intelligence gathering.

Regardless of the U.S. not spiking the ball, I don't think Americans and their allies - including Canadians - can become complacent that the terrorist threat has disappeared because of one man's death.

With that said, it's true that the photo would certainly have been used to incite further hatred toward the U.S. Just imagine! Had President Obama released Mr. bin Laden's death photo, it would be splashed on every protest sign at anti-American protests around the world. As gruesome as the photo likely is, it would have most certainly led to compelling news photos and television coverage.

The visuals of thousands of anti-American demonstrators holding up Mr. bin Laden's death photo would have been dramatic and would have had the effect of throwing gasoline on a fire that's already out of control.

Then there's the matter of the Pakistani government. I mean, really!

It's difficult to believe they didn't suspect Mr. bin Laden was "hiding" practically in plain view. Allied soldiers have been searching caves and mountains for Mr. bin Laden when all they should have done was walk through Abbotabad, Pakistan and peek over a wall surrounding a mansion. It's a stretch, to say the least, to believe that Pakistan knew nothing of this.

Regardless, thousands of soldiers have died or had their lives changed forever by life-altering injuries. Because of Mr. bin Laden's attack on New York City on that beautiful Tuesday morning on Sept. 11, 2001, not only did those who died in the attacks lose their lives, but the lives of their families and friends were changed forever, too.

Mr. bin Laden was never going to stop attacking - or planning to attack - the United States and their allies, including Canada. As a country, Canada is relatively unscathed when it comes to foreign terrorist attacks directly on our soil. Had Mr. bin Laden successfully targeted our country - and there's nothing to say we aren't going to be attacked at some point - I can't help but think we would have been outside cheering his death, too.

Terrorists attack the innocent. They rarely attack "Mr. Big." They attack Joe Lunchbucket and Mary Cookiebaker . . . and their kids . . . and their neighbours. While the Sept. 11, 2011, attacks targeted the Pentagon, the terrorists did so by hijacking a jetliner full of passengers. At least they lived up to their name - terrorists - considering the terror that passengers and crew must have gone through that fateful day.

While the White House's sensible refusal to release Osama bin Laden's death photo (at least so far) seems to be the right decision, it shouldn't be looked at as some sort of altruistic symbol. It's just practical.

Not releasing the photo may prove to be about as effective as pouring a cold glass of water into lava flowing out of a volcano. The difference may be imperceptible and it will not stop terrorism from continuing to erupt violently when we least expect it.

Funny viral video: Ultimate dog tease

2011-05-09T22:12:00.005-03:00

Here's the world's latest favourite viral video. Since May 1, it has received more than 11 million views.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-08T19:39:00.003-03:00

A journey through cancer: Day 1426 since diagnosis - May 7, 2011

2011-05-07T22:26:00.001-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 7, 2011 -- Day 1426 since diagnosis:

A journey through cancer: Day 1425 since diagnosis - May 6, 2011

2011-05-06T22:21:00.005-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 6, 2011 -- Day 1425 since diagnosis:

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s May 5, 2011, episode — Top 5 results show

2011-05-06T10:46:00.002-03:00

This week, there was a surprise member of the bottom two — someone who had never been there before this season. They certainly didn’t handle it very well, either, but they weren’t the one sent home, so they’ll get to sing another day!

Who was the surprise member of the bottom two? Who was sent home? Click one of the links below to find out:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox next Wednesday at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern to hear the Top 4 perform!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s May 4, 2011, episode — Top 5 performance show

2011-05-05T09:46:00.002-03:00

Last night, the Top 5 remaining contestants on American Idol performed two songs each — one recent and one from the past. It’s a lucky thing that some had two chances because the judges (and sometimes me) were not too pleased with a few of the performances.

As with many seasons of the show, sometimes what we hear through the television at home can sound quite different from what they hear in the studio. The explains some of the very positive comments when the contestant sounded horrible for those of us at home. That was the case last night with a few songs that I thought were just awful — but that the judges lauded.

Regardless, there were three outstanding performances last night. I posted videos here yesterday.

To read my full review and who I’m choosing to go home tonight, click one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

To find out who goes home, tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern. There are only three weeks left!

My low-carb and gluten-free almond cookies video just hit 10,000 views on YouTube!

2011-05-05T07:26:00.009-03:00

This is my one-and-only recipe video. It recently hit 10,000 views on YouTube, so I decided to post it again.

This is a recipe for almond cookies that are low-carb, sugar-free and gluten-free. Before you begin, pre-heat your oven to 300F. You'll need:

- 2 cups almond flour (i.e. ground almonds)
- 1/2 cup Splenda (or equivalent liquid Splenda)
- 1 stick (1/2 cup) butter
- 1/2 tsp salt (omit if you used salted butter)
- 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
- 1 tsp pure almond extract

Combine all ingredients. Form dough into walnut-sized balls and place onto greased cookie sheet. Bake for 5 minutes. Press down lightly with fork. (Optional: You may also place an almond in the middle of the cookie.) Return to oven and bake for another 15 minutes. Let cool and enjoy! 30 carbs for entire batch - less if you use liquid Splenda (i.e. Sweetzfree).

You can buy Sweetzfree here.

Original recipe credit: Low Carb Luxury (very slow server).

I messed up the ending a bit, but this took so long to do that I'll just chalk it up to experience and make sure the next video's ending isn't chopped off!

Hump Day: Bringing home a new pet can be a life changing endeavour

2011-05-05T00:01:00.001-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

Changes inside a household can be stressful. Seemingly perfect balances can be upset when someone leaves the home or joins it. A new baby, the death of a loved one, a child going off to college... things like this change the dynamics of how we live.

On the grand scale of things, the change coming to my household this weekend is not earth shattering. It's actually quite exciting, although I have to admit that it's throwing me off my game a bit.

As I wrote a few weeks ago, this is the weekend that a little dog named Milane comes to live with me. A purebred Coton de Tuléar, she's being retired from shows and breeding and I'm taking her in for the next dozen-or-so years of her life. Since she's only four years old, she should have a good 12 years left in her, I think.

Getting a new pet is like getting a new child. You have to care for the animal and feed it. You have to take it to the veterinarian for shots, checkups and - hopefully not too often - emergencies.

New routines also need to be established. With proper food and water, it's easy to leave cats on their own all day. They have a litter box to use if they need to go to the bathroom. Dogs, well, that's a bit more of an issue. They pretty much need to be walked and do their business outdoors. They're more hands-on.

Since I now work from home, I decided that it was the right time to get a dog. I personally didn't like the idea of leaving a dog alone all day home, so getting a dog while I was working for others was not an option for me. That was a personal choice that I made for my own conscience and the dog's quality of life. It's just not something I wanted to do.

Don't get me wrong, I'm quite excited about Milane's arrival. The breeder is happy that she found a good home. She's as cute as a button and usually elicits a series of "Oohs!" and "Ahs!" when I show her photos to people. She's a little white furball with a cute face and - from what I'm told - a great personality.

Since Cotons are also known as a breed that gets along with most people, animals and situations, I'm pretty sure she won't be too neurotic and will adapt easily to the routine that she will enjoy for the next several years.

But, I have to admit, I'm also really nervous about her arrival. I've been looking through pet supply stores for collars, leashes, bowls, crates and all the things required for a new dog. I know what kind of food she eats and have treats already picked out. The trip to the breeder on Saturday is already planned and I'm taking my mother and a couple of aunts with me to greet the new member of the family.

I've been e-mailing the breeder back and forth for advice on a variety of issues. I feel just like a new father who hasn't had a baby before. I haven't owned a dog since I was a kid in the 1970s, so I'm a bit out of practice. I'm sure it will be just like riding a bicycle, though. We'll figure out a routine and I'll make sure she learns a few doggie karate chops to keep the two cats from smothering her with a pillow in her sleep.

Things will be fine. She's small enough that finding a babysitter from time to time will not be a problem. It's not as if she's a big brute who can swallow a small child in one gulp. I just need to be resourceful because owning a dog is much more hands-on than owning a cat. That whole "getting outside for exercise and to use the bathroom" thing will take some getting used to.

But, I'm up for the challenge! I'm actually looking forward to taking Milane on walks around the neighbourhood and heading out to various parks and trails around the area for outings. I think it will be fun. And Lord knows, I could use the exercise. Apparently, Cotons are tough little buggers, so she should enjoy the exercise - and at only four years old, she'll certainly have the stamina.

One irrational fear I have is that she'll be dognapped. I know, I know... unlikely... but I keep hearing of these things happening. Just last week, a dog was stolen from the Greater Moncton SPCA only to be returned later thanks to an onslaught of people looking for her through social media. There are also reports of another dog in Fredericton who was stolen.

Yeah, I can just see myself now. If anyone dares to pet my dog, I'll need identification, fingerprints and a hefty deposit (cash or credit card swipe). I will be the over-protective dog owner from hell. If I leave her to be babysat (dogsat?) anywhere, I'll insist on setting up video surveillance.

I pity the poor fool who feeds her table scraps when I'm not looking instead of the $1-million-per-bag premium dog food she'll be eating. Apparently, she's also used to eating olive oil and yogurt. (Spoiled much?) Oh, who am I kidding? She'll keep getting yogurt and olive oil when she comes to live with me. I'll probably sprinkle it with gold dust while I'm at it and have it blessed by the pope.

When all is said and done, Milane should be in good hands. As long as I teach her those doggie karate chop moves against the cats, she should at least survive the weekend.

A journey through cancer: Day 1422 since diagnosis - May 4, 2011

2011-05-04T23:19:00.002-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 4, 2011 -- Day 1422 since diagnosis:

My picks for the top three performanes on American Idol tonight

2011-05-04T23:09:00.005-03:00

Check out these videos of my picks for the top three performances from tonight's episode of American Idol. In no particular order:

Scotty McCreery -- Gone:

James Durbin -- Without You:

Haley Reinhart -- House of the Rising Sun:

A journey through cancer: Day 1421 since diagnosis - May 3, 2011

2011-05-03T19:19:00.002-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 3, 2011 -- Day 1421 since diagnosis:

Today's election day in Canada: VOTE!

2011-05-02T15:53:00.003-03:00

If you're not sure where to vote, click here to visit Elections Canada's website.

A journey through cancer: Day 1420 since diagnosis - May 2, 2011

2011-05-02T12:19:00.001-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 2, 2011 -- Day 1420 since diagnosis:

A journey through cancer: Day 1419 since diagnosis - May 1, 2011

2011-05-01T20:00:00.002-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for May 1, 2011 -- Day 1419 since diagnosis:

Seth Meyers delivers keynote address at White House Correspondents' Dinner

2011-05-01T15:30:00.003-03:00

Here's a pretty fun speech by Saturday Night Live head writer and cast member Seth Meyers. Notice how Donald Trump doesn't find Meyers's jokes very funny. He'd better learn to laugh at himself or he'll be upset a LOT over the next year if he decides to run for president.

A journey through cancer: Day 1417 since diagnosis - April 29, 2011

2011-04-29T21:37:00.000-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 29, 2011 -- Day 1417 since diagnosis:

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 28, 2011, episode — Top 6 results show

2011-04-29T07:00:00.002-03:00

Another of this season’s favourites was sent packing last night — although an earlier show foreshadowed the fact that he likely wouldn’t win.

Casey Abrams proved just a bit too unique for American Idol fans and received the lowest number of votes this week.

Please forgive the error in the column. There was no bottom three or bottom two this week. The results were in random order. The “fact” that Scotty was in the bottom two was not correct. I had a migraine on Thursday and my brain was not functioning correctly.

At this point, I do believe that James is the frontrunner for the first time this season, but one barn-burning performance by Scotty will turn that around pretty quickly. I still believe that the last two standing will be James and Scotty.

To read how last night’s show went down, click on one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox next Wednesday at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern to watch the Top 5 perform! The big question next week will be whether Jacob Lusk or Haley Reinhart can survive. So far, James Durbin, Scotty McCreery and Lauren Alaina seem like shoo-ins for the Top 3.

A journey through cancer: Day 1416 since diagnosis - April 28, 2011

2011-04-28T19:31:00.005-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 28, 2011 -- Day 1416 since diagnosis:

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 27, 2011, episode — Top 6 performance show

2011-04-28T07:00:00.002-03:00

The Top 6 performed songs by music legend Carole King this week.

There were definitely some stellar performances last night, including Scotty McCreery, James Durbin and Lauren Alaina. Casey Abrams went back to his bad habit of growling. Oyyy…

Check out my review and predictions for elimination here:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern for the results!

Hump Day: Honour Canadian democracy and get out to vote on Monday

2011-04-28T05:00:00.005-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial page

Sometimes, I wonder whether or not Canada would be well served by a good old fashioned national tragedy, devastating war or terrorist act on our soil or a government so evil that it partakes in genocide and the systematic dismantling of everything we hold dear, including public health care and education.

I write this because sometimes I think we're way too comfortable.

Why? Because a huge chunk of eligible voters don't even bother to go to the ballot box to take two minutes of their time to mark an "X" next to a candidate's name.

Next Monday, Canadians will go to the polls in the country's 41st general election since Confederation.

Millions of Canadians will exercise their civic duty and mark their ballots. Some will also deliberately spoil their ballots in an attempt to send a message. Fair enough. At least they showed up.

Millions, however, will not even bother to take the time out of their day to pick up that stubby pencil, unfold the ballot, mark their "X" and then fold it back up to give to the poll worker who then tears off the security tab proving it's a legal ballot, followed by you depositing that very important piece of paper in the ballot box.

Let's go through some of the excuses that people use not to vote.

"Didn't have time." People can vote at advance polls and at returning offices for several days before election day. There's no need to wait until May 2 to cast your ballot. Surely within those several days you can find a minute to write a little "X" on a ballot?

"Didn't know where to go." Everyone gets a card in the mail. Even if you've moved, you'll probably get a card destined for the previous resident telling you where and when you can vote. A simple search online will tell you where to vote. Call one of your local candidates, as well. They will give you the right number to call.

"Didn't have a way to get there." You can call any candidate and I can guarantee you that they'll send someone over to pick you up at home and drive you back. If they think you'll vote for them by providing you with a drive, rest assured that they'll treat you nicely. You're under no obligation to vote for the candidate whose team gave you a drive, but it's considered polite to call the candidate you intend to vote for.

"I didn't have identification on me." You need identification to vote. Workers can't just take your word that you're the person whose name is on the voter's card. Taken directly from Elections Canada's website, the following identification options exist:

1. Show one original piece of identification with your photo, name and address. It must be issued by a government agency. (Example: Driver's licence.)

2. Show two original pieces of authorized identification. Both pieces must have your name and one must also have your address. (Examples: New Brunswick Medicare card and utility bill - telephone, cable, electricity).

3. Take an oath and have an elector who knows you vouch for you (both of you will be required to make a sworn statement). This person must have authorized identification and their name must appear on the list of electors in the same polling division as you. This person can only vouch for one person and the person who is vouched for cannot vouch for another elector.

Another reason that people don't vote is, "All politicians are the same." Oh no, they're not. Party platforms differ widely in a variety of areas, including emphasis in certain areas that may impact your life more than others. Do some research. Read the pamphlets that show up in your mailbox. Don't assume everyone's the same. They're not.

"I hate elections." Interesting comment. Many people in Libya, Egypt, China and North Korea would love to have true democratic elections. Talk to any immigrant or refugee from one of those countries and they'll tell you pretty quickly that Canadians are very lucky to be able to vote freely and without threats of violence - or worse.

"I forgot" Really? Not enough wall-to-wall news coverage and election signs on every corner to remind you?

"One vote doesn't make a difference." According to online research I did, the following was decided by one single vote:

King Charles I of England was executed in 1649, a fate decided by one vote.

In 1800, one vote made Thomas Jefferson the U.S. president over Aaron Burr.

One vote can make a difference, including over life or death.

"I can't be bothered." Really? Thankfully, the members of our military didn't say that in the First of Second World Wars. If they couldn't be bothered, how different would Canada be today?

"All politicians are crooks." It drives me crazy to hear people say this. While I understand the cynicism, it's completely untrue. The vast majority of politicians are well-meaning and work very hard every day to help their constituents. Whatever you may think of them, I can assure you that most politicians work seven days per week.

Next Monday, please do your duty for your country as a Canadian citizen. Cast your ballot. Please honour our peaceful democracy by voting.

A journey through cancer: Day 1415 since diagnosis - April 27, 2011

2011-04-27T19:24:00.004-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 27, 2011 -- Day 1415 since diagnosis:

A journey through cancer: Day 5 - April 26, 2011

2011-04-26T23:59:00.002-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 26, 2011:

A journey through cancer: Day 4 - April 25, 2011

2011-04-25T23:05:00.002-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 25, 2011:

Charlieissocoollike: Doctor What

2011-04-25T05:00:00.001-03:00

A journey through cancer: Day 3 - April 24, 2011

2011-04-24T20:29:00.006-03:00

Subscribe to Ali Marr's "A Journey Through Cancer" YouTube channel here and follow her family as they live with her father Harley's cancer.

Here's today's episode for April 24, 2011:

A journey through cancer: April 22 and April 23

2011-04-24T13:06:00.010-03:00

Harley Marr of Moncton was diagnosed with prostate cancer five years ago. Since then, the cancer has spread to his bones.

His daughter Ali has created what will certainly be a very powerful and intimate look at her family's experience with cancer as they proceed on their journey.

These are Ali's first two videos posted on April 22 and April 23. I will be posting these videos to my blog as they are available. Please visit Ali's YouTube channel here and click on subscribe.

Click here to visit the Harley's Heroes Relay for Life website. Don't forget to donate!

April 22 (introductory video):

April 23:

Happy Easter!

2011-04-24T05:00:00.001-03:00

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 21, 2011, episode — Top 7 results show

2011-04-22T07:00:00.000-03:00

Seven became six this week as American Idol voters eliminated yet another hopeful.

I predicted that Stefano Langone, Jacob Lusk and Haley Reinhart would find themselves in the bottom three — and that’s exactly what happened last night! I also predicted that Stefano’s luck would finally run out after surviving being in the bottom two last week and the week before that.

So, who got the boot? Did Stefano manage to survive again? Check out one of the links below to find out:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern next Wednesday to see the Top 6 perform!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 20, 2011, episode — Top 7 performance show

2011-04-21T10:41:00.003-03:00

The Top 7 performed songs from the 21st century last night on American Idol. While there were no disasters, I did notice that several contestants kept yanking out their earpieces during their performances. This has happened for the past few weeks. Jacob Lusk complained that he messed up the first part of his song because he heard drums in his earpiece and it threw him off.

I’m not a fan of Jacob, but he’s as honest as the day’s long, so I believe him. I hope producers fix this issue. Something is obviously not working correctly with those huge monstrosities (the earpieces). You’d think that in this day and age — and with American Idol’s budget — they could afford earpieces that are a bit more subtle, not to mention ones that work.

The big question is the ability of Stefano Langone to survive yet another week. He’s been in the bottom two the past two weeks and has knocked off both Pia Toscano and Paul McDonald. Can he do it again? If he does, who will go?

Read my review and predictions for last night’s performance show by clicking one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

To find out who goes home this week, tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern!

Hump Day: Trying hard to make the best of a tricky tax time situation

2011-04-21T07:41:00.002-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

As far as the government is concerned, it's the most wonderful time of the year. No, it's not Christmas just yet. It's tax season! For people like me who wait until the last minute to do my taxes, it's far from being the most wonderful time of the year. In fact, it's pretty much the most stressful time of the year for me. Because I have a combination personal and business return, it's a bit more complicated than the days when I had one T4 slip and a few charitable donations.

Thankfully, my 2010 return is the final edition of the returns done at the last minute because I've done bought myself a brand spankin' new bookkeeper. Well, maybe I really didn't actually buy her - that would be quite wrong and illegal - but I'm paying her to put my books in order so that we can just push a few buttons come early March 2011 and send in my return nice and early next year.

So far, I've learned some great tricks, including a few deductions I didn't know I could make. I've also learned a few things that I can't do. Those are the difficult things to hear from your bookkeeper or accountant. "What do you mean I can't deduct the toothpicks I bought for my nephew's birthday party? I wrote a column about it. They're deductible. No? Are you sure?"

Well, maybe not to that extreme, but I'll look to her to keep me out of jail - or at least not have to jump off a cliff if I ever get audited by "the man" - that faceless, nameless entity who runs the country.

In the past few years, I've been lucky in that I've been very pleasantly surprised by either the size of the refund I'm getting or the small amount of money I owe. Usually, I go into tax season trying to figure out how many boarders I can fit in my basement to help pay my tax bill. When my accountant calls me to tell me to come in to sign my return, I brace myself for the bad news and it's usually not that bad.

But this year, however, I think I've met my match. The one thing you have to do when working for yourself is to ensure you put aside money from every invoice to pay your taxes. Sure, you have expenses, but the secret is finding enough deductions to cancel out the taxes you may owe. At a certain income level, though, that becomes difficult. I mean, there are only so many (legitimate) business deductions that a person can claim before you start grasping at straws and try to write off jars of pickles as a deduction in order to bring your income down.

I'm not trying to write off jars of pickles as a business expense just yet, but maybe when I get that call from the accountant after my taxes are done and ready to be signed, I may regret not having tried to deduct that bottle of dills.

I usually do all my own calculations and show up at the accountant's office with a bunch of receipts wrapped in adding machine tape, a wad of notes and a few things I have no idea what to do with. Now that I have a bookkeeper, that trip to the accountant next year will be much more orderly. She'll double check everything and make sure everything is kosher, and I'll know far in advance how much I owe.

I wasn't terribly disciplined at putting money aside for taxes last year. That is not a good thing. In order to sleep at night - and in your own bed, not on a prison cot - it's a very good thing to take a certain percentage off the top of everything you receive from clients and deposit it into an account where you won't touch it. That's what I'm doing this year. A percentage comes off the top of every cheque I receive, including the HST that I charged to a client.

It's all too tempting to see that invoice as "all yours" when, in effect, you'd better put some aside for "the man" or find yourself in a bit of pinch paying back taxes and HST. That would be no fun. So far, I've always been pretty fortunate. Like I said, I'm not so sure that it's the case this time.

So besides the boarders I'll have to take in, perhaps I could start doing laundry for people? Maybe some sewing? I could always get a job washing dishes in a restaurant. Maybe I could knock on doors of dog owners in my neighbourhood and ask if they'd like me to clean up the melting poop in their yards!

Oyyy... now I'm making myself nervous. Since I've only become really disciplined at putting money aside for taxes recently, I'd better try to see if I can write off as much as possible for 2010. Toothpicks were already shot down by my bookkeeper. How about toothpaste? I could write a column about toothpaste and make it a business expense! No, I don't spend enough on toothpaste to make the audit worth my while.

Whatever happens, I'll figure out something. I'm sure I could cram 20 or 30 boarders in my basement - skinny ones that don't take up a lot of room. We'd all be one big happy family. The minute my back taxes are paid off, however, they're out on their ear. I don't care if it's Christmas Eve or the middle of summer.

I wonder if my bookkeeper will allow me to erase a few of last year's invoices? If it worked for Richard Nixon, it'll work for me! Oh... wait...

Charlieissocoollike: Fun Science -- Light

2011-04-16T09:42:00.000-03:00

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 14, 2011, episode — Top 8 results show

2011-04-15T07:26:00.005-03:00

Last night on American Idol, we saw the first male contestant eliminated since the Top 13 began. Was it Stefano Langone — the boy with nine lives — or was it someone else? Click one of the links below to read my recap and find out who was sent home.

Moncton Times & Transcript: Not available online

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox next Wednesday at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern to watch the Top 7!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 13, 2011, episode — Top 8 performance show

2011-04-14T10:38:00.002-03:00

This week on American Idol, the Top 8 performed songs featured in movies. With fans, contestants and the judges still reeling after last week’s shocking elimination of front-runner Pia Toscano — not to mention Casey Abrams equally surprising near-elimination a few weeks ago — this season is proving to the be the most unpredictable yet. No one is safe.

With Pia’s exit, I believe the position of clear front-runner goes to country boy Scotty McCreery. James Durbin continues to impress week after week. Lauren Alaina is also a stong contender, but I think she’s lacking in the personality department just a bit. But man, has she got a voice!

Last night, I thought Haley tanked. Paul was just weird. Jacob sounded exactly the same as he does every week. Stefano redeemed himself. Casey got a standing ovation from the judges but I somehow doubt his performance connected with young voting fans. Scotty was solid, as usual. James and Lauren were the two standouts.

To read my entire review, including my prediction for who will be going home, click on one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern for the results!

Hump Day: Entrepreneurs have to sell themselves, generate their business

2011-04-14T10:08:00.001-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Since I started my own business last year, I've been pleasantly surprised at the support I've received from my network of contacts. Except for a period in late December and the first couple of weeks of January, I've been quite busy.

Lately, business has just exploded. As an entrepreneur, I'm grateful to my clients and for the fact that they've put their trust in me.

I've always had an entrepreneurial streak in me. I never minded selling tickets door to door for hockey raffles or peddling chocolate bars at the mall entrance for a school fundraiser. It was fun competing with others for the class pizza party. And hey, if you didn't sell them all, at least you could spend your allowance on buying the few bars that were left over.

These days, some of the more lucrative fundraisers are ones that have kids packing groceries at the checkout counter. I've always been impressed at their politeness and care at putting everything properly in the bags. It's nice to have someone do it for you, too.

I usually give them a couple of dollars and ask about what they're raising money for. More often than not, it's for a school band trip to New York, Montreal or New Orleans. Geez, when I was in the school band, we played once across town - and I thought that was thrilling!

I did get in trouble once, though, when selling chocolate bars during junior high with a friend of mine in front of the old Woolco store (now Wal-Mart) at Champlain Place. Most people who didn't want to buy bars were usually pleasant. There were a lot of "I'm allergic" and "I'm diabetic" . . . but our tactics soon turned to telling every woman who walked by us that they were beautiful. And, by the way, "Wanna buy a chocolate bar for my school?"

It charmed many. We actually did get a few chuckles and a few of the ladies bought one from us, perhaps out of pure respect for our sales technique gumption. But, at some point, we told the wrong person they were beautiful and the manager came out to have a chat. While we were allowed to remain, the emotional manipulation had to stop. Subsequently, our sales numbers dropped, but at least we didn't get into more trouble.

Growing up, most of my neighbours were really nice and would usually buy my tickets or bars or whatever I was selling. After I got a few no thanks, I would get discouraged and just start skipping houses. One wonderful neighbour saw me walking by with my wad of unsold tickets and yelled from her door wondering what I was selling. "Tickets on a (whatever it was at the time)!" I replied.

She then jokingly berated me for not knocking on her door. I told her I didn't think she'd want any, but she proved me wrong and bought a few. I never skipped her house after that. At least she was nicer than that neighbour who would literally slam the door in my face. Thank goodness his wife was a real sweetheart. I learned never to knock on their door again if I didn't think she was home.

My entrepreneurial instinct only led me down the path of evil once when I picked a neighbour's flowers and sold the bouquet back to her. Thinking back on it now, she must have known the flowers were hers, but she didn't give me any hint that she knew and handed over a few quarters for (literally) her bouquet. Of course, pure guilt took over afterwards and I never did it again.

My first paid job - other than writing columns for this newspaper during my high school years, was selling ads for the 1983 Kinsmen National Convention that was hosted here in Moncton. Oyyy . . . I just did the math and that's nearly 30 years ago. There was a newspaper being printed for the delegates and my duties were to walk up and down Main Street and sell ads to every merchant who would let me through the door.

I have to admit, I was pretty good at it. I had no qualms about selling. I raised about $1,200 in revenue, which was pretty good back then. These days, though, the thought of selling tickets or ads makes my skin crawl. I'm so glad those days are over. I really do remember enjoying it, but over time the thought of selling doesn't sit well with me.

But when you're in business for yourself, you have to sell whether you like it or not. You have to sell your abilities. You have to sell the benefits of your network, your experience and your background. And you have to produce . . . on time and on budget!

In the consulting world, it's either feast or famine . . . so the months you're going crazy with work will make up for the months when the telephone stops ringing and the only e-mails you get are from Nigerian princes wanting to park their life savings in your bank account - for a fee and for your online banking password.

I've been very fortunate that contracts - so far - have mostly come to me through friends, colleagues, past co-workers and the like. An entrepreneur can only feel incredibly grateful to have such a wonderful, generous network of contacts. Gratitude is a must when you're an entrepreneur because without clients, you have nothing.

Too good to be true!

2011-04-11T10:12:00.000-03:00

I was hoping this new invention was real. But alas...

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 7, 2011, episode — Top 9 results show

2011-04-08T06:15:00.004-03:00

Whoa! No one saw that one coming! After favourite Casey Abrams received the fewest votes a few weeks ago (first Top 11 results show), the judges used their one and only "save" of the season to save him.

Unfortunately for the judges and fans, this left other favourites vulnerable for an early exit. And that's exactly what happened last night when one of the favourites to win -- in fact the #1 favourite to win according to Entertainment Weekly's Top 9 power list -- was sent home a lot earlier than anyone had anticipated.

To find out the shocking results of last night's show that left the audience booing, Jennifer Lopez bawling and Randy Jackson and Steven Tyler angry, click one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here.

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Not available online today.

Tune in to Fox next Wednesday, at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern to hear the Top 8 (minus a favourite!) perform.

Annoying Orange: Kitchen Carnage

2011-04-07T13:48:00.000-03:00

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s April 6, 2011, episode — Top 9 performance show

2011-04-07T12:17:00.001-03:00

Last night, the Top 9 American Idol contestants performed songs by members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I thought last night’s episode was one of the best ever… filled with some great performances! James wept. Scotty channeled Elvis. Pia sang something unexpected and up tempo. Haley had one of her best performances of the season!

To find out how everyone did and who I believe will be eliminated tonight, click one of the links below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here.

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here.

Hump Day: That "crazy old cat lady" has done it now and it'll be a dog's life!

2011-04-07T00:01:00.003-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Editorial section

Well, for all of you who've been concerned that I'm a crazy cat lady disguised as a (rich, gorgeous, virile) guy in his (very) extremely late 20s, you'll be pleased to know that I'll soon be making a change in a positive direction.

The cats will still be with me. They're not going anywhere. Besides, being cats, they've somehow managed to get their names on the deed to my house. Those furry little buggers can be uncannily sneaky.

The good news is that, in early May, I'm going to pick up my new dog, a four-year-old Coton de Tuléar, a small white ball of fur with the very pompous-sounding purebred name of Polana Milane Passioncoton ("Milane" for short). I was looking to rescue a Coton a few years ago and even went to visit one at the same breeder from where Milane is coming, but the timing wasn't right.

Now that I work from home in my own business, the bug to get a dog to add to the family became quite strong. I called the breeder a few weeks ago to let her know I'd be interested in rescuing a Coton if one became available. While Milane isn't a rescue, she's being retired from the show circuit and the breeder asked if I would be interested in taking her in as her retirement home. It took me all of three seconds to say, "Yes!"

The cuteness of this little girl cannot be exaggerated. She's to die for. Well, that may be a bad choice of words, because I'm pretty sure that my cat Cindy will want to kill her when they meet. Cindy is the boss of the animal kingdom in the household - an animal kingdom that currently is made up of two cats, the other being the big, floppy and lovable Casey. He's twice Cindy's size and is pretty much her slave.

It will be interesting to introduce a dog to the household. A few years ago, introducing a third cat proved to be a complete and utter disaster. I adopted Charlotte, a beautiful Siamese lynx point mix, and had great hopes that she would blend right in with the other two. We would be one big happy family, so happy that I would get a personally signed Christmas card from God himself every holiday season.

Unfortunately, Charlotte's stay was about as peaceful as an atom bomb being dropped into an erupting volcano. We all talk about "cat fights" between people as if they're something terrible. Cat fights between real cats are beyond scary to watch. That's what I had to deal with for seven months before I made the painful decision to re-home Charlotte for her own safety - and my sanity. It was a huge relief for everyone.

The thing about cats is that they're very territorial. Ironically, cats and dogs - despite the cliché - sometimes get along better than cats and cats because they don't see each other as competition for territory, mates and food.

And then there was Daisy the cockatiel. Again, I'm not sure what the heck I was thinking when I got a bird when I already had two cats. It would be like hiring a mouse to babysit your favourite block of cheddar cheese. Sure, there was peace in the valley while I was in the room and my eyes were on them, but the minute I left the room Casey would charge poor Daisy's cage and try to get at her to eat her like an after-dinner mint.

You've heard of jelly donuts? The cage was the donut. Daisy was the feathery jelly. And Casey wanted that donut filling no matter what!

The cage would rattle. Daisy would scream. Casey would be trying to get through the bars. Thank goodness I never let him watch Tweety and Sylvester cartoons. At some point, I would be yanking Daisy out of his mouth, I'm sure.

I hope the third time is the charm with little Milane. The cats won't find her delicious (I hope) and the territorial issues shouldn't be too bad. They've only met one dog - my friend Bob's dog Riley, a sweet dog who loves cats. Casey got used to Riley in about an hour and was ready to be lifelong pals.

Meanwhile, Cindy was still slinking around with her back up in the air and hissing. Let's just say that she was more than a little bit out of sorts.

When Milane arrives, she'll have everything a dog could love: toys, good food, a nice bed - and a built-in set of siblings, one who'll love her from the get-go, and the other who will plot to kill her in her sleep à la Stewie vs. Lois on Family Guy.

There will definitely be an adjustment period for everyone. Me, especially! While I'm excited to be finally getting a dog, I'm also more than a little nervous as to how the other two fur balls will take to her. I don't want to wake up one morning to find the cats' claws full of mud and a fresh grave dug in the garden with a little white tail sticking out.

I'm looking forward to taking Milane for walks and bringing her to visit friends and family. She's hypoallergenic and apparently great with children, so finding a babysitter shouldn't be too difficult from time to time.

And I've already told my Facebook friends that if I ever put ribbons in her hair to make it look like she has pigtails, then do me a favour and shoot me. Just tell the RCMP it was justifiable homicide. You know what those crazy dog people are like!

Charlieissocoollike: Cooking with Charlie

2011-04-03T19:13:00.001-03:00

Nasty April Fool's joke in Moncton... a snow storm!

2011-04-01T22:21:00.001-03:00

While most April Fool's jokes today were harmless pranks, this was the real thing! Not a snow storm to be seen in the entire month of March in Moncton, but this is what we got on April 1! Sheesh!

Video courtesy of Newschaser.

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 31, 2011, episode — Second Top 11 results show

2011-04-01T12:07:00.005-03:00

This week on American Idol, two contestants were eliminated because of last week’s “Judges’ Save” that kept Casey Abrams from being sent home much earlier than anyone thought he would be.

This week, the Top 11 contestants sang the songs of music legend Sir Elton John. (The producers originally picked a generic 80s theme but changed it afterwards.) I picked Naima Adedapo and Thia Megia to go home this week. Naima’s horrible reggae rendition of I’m Still Standing will likely go down in Idol history as a disaster. Thia’s bland performance of Daniel also put her in danger, I believed.

Was I right? Click one of the links below to read my review of last night’s performance show:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here
Also, here is the text of my review of the second Top 11 performance show that aired Wednesday, March 30. The column was printed in the newspapers but never made it to the online editions. For the record, here’s my review of this week’s performances:

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 30, 2011, episode — Second Top 11 performance show

After last week’s shocking near elimination of fan-favourite Casey Abrams, two contestants are on the chopping block this week. Tonight, we’ll be down to nine singers after 11 performed songs from the repertoire of one of the world’s great music legends, Sir Elton John. Host Ryan Seacrest was joined by the usual trio of judges: Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson.

Scotty McCreery (17, Garner NC) – Country Comfort: This is Sir Elton’s only country song, so obviously Scotty chose it. His fan base would love this and he did a great job. Loved the bass note at the end. Killed it! Steven: Loves everything about his voice! Jennifer: Amazing instincts. Randy: He’s so in the zone!

Naima Adedapo (26, Milwaukee WI) – I’m Still Standing: I love Naima, but this reggae version of one of Sir Elton’s iconic tunes was a mistake. She even used the Jamaican accent. This will go down as a horrible moment in American Idol history. Just awful! Steven: The song fit her. Jennifer: The song wasn’t suited to reggae. Randy: Corny.

Paul McDonald (26, Nashville TN) – Rocket Man. Beautiful song! I love Paul, but I didn’t this song suited him. It was choppy and disconnected, but I liked the way he whispered the final word. Steven: This was the one song on Paul’s album that wouldn’t work. Jennifer: He could push a bit more. Randy: Felt he was holding back.

Pia Toscano (22, Howard Beach NY) – Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me: Another power ballad. I’m getting bored with Pia, but she sings so well that you can’t deny her immense talent. At some point, she’ll have to bring some excitement, though. Steven: She nailed it! Jennifer: Goose bumps! Randy: Unbelievable!

Stefano Langone (22, Kent WA) – Tiny Dancer. Not a fan of this song. Can’t imagine what he was thinking, but I really liked this version after all. This was really great. Pleasantly surprised! The kid’s got charm to spare. Steven: He has a very sweet voice. Jennifer: Felt like he moved the crowd. Randy: Liked that he kept his eyes open for once!

Lauren Alaina (16, Rossville GA) – Candle in the Wind: Lauren has a beautiful and powerful voice. There was country lilt to this performance that suited her very well. I loved this! This was crazy good. Steven: It was perfect. Jennifer: Amazing and gorgeous! Randy: One of her best performances.

James Durbin (22, Santa Cruz CA) – Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting: James is always so much fun to watch. His joy is infectious. He truly loves singing and because of that, we love him, too! Perfect choice for him. Steven: A good thing! Jennifer: A performance of a great song by a great artist. Randy: A great performance!

Thia Megia (16, Mountain House CA) – Daniel. I don’t think a female should be singing this song. It’s more poignant for a man to sing it. I didn’t think this connected at all. Her voice was good, but I didn’t feel it. Steven: Sang a great Elton John song well. Jennifer: A beautiful moment for her. Randy: Too safe.

Casey Abrams (20, Idyllwild CA) – Your Song: A beautiful song. He needed to prove himself after a near-death experience last week. The new Casey was subdued and looked great with a trimmed beard and haircut. What a nice and humble performance. Hallelujah! He’s back! Steven: A true artist. Jennifer: It was very Casey! Randy: Brilliant and tender.

Jacob Lusk (23, Compton CA) – Sorry Seems to Be the Hardest Word: All of Jacob’s performances are starting to sound alike to me. Big emotional ballads with lots of drama. A bit overdone. Steven: Jacob slays him. Jennifer: Great last note. Randy: Needs to pick one spot in every song where he gives it his all.

Haley Reinhart (20, Wheeling IL) – Benny and the Jets: I didn’t like this at first, but she proved she has a seriously awesome singing voice here. Very Janis Joplin! She should be safe this week. Steven: She sings sexy! Jennifer: That was it!! Randy: Best performance of the night!

I’ll pick Naima for her disastrous reggae performance and Thia for her bland version of Daniel to be the ones on their way home to wait out the rest of the season before the Top 11 go on tour this summer. Tune in to Fox tonight at 9 p.m. for the results.

BULLETIN: Bono leaving U2 and won't appear in Moncton this summer

2011-04-01T05:00:00.005-03:00

Fans who've been snatching up tickets to U2 in Moncton like they were hotcakes may want to consider getting refunds. Bono made it official on CNN last night that he's leaving the iconic Irish group -- the biggest touring band in the world right now.

Replacing Bono as lead singer of U2 for the Moncton concert will be 1980s pop star Rick Astley, who had a worldwide hit with "Never Gonna Give You Up" in 1987. In fact, the song hit #1 in 24 countries around the world.

"Rick Astley and I have been friends for 25 years," Bono told CNN. "We're huge fans of each other and he knows all our songs by heart. He's the perfect replacement and has a simply mad voice. Fans will be pleasantly surprised."

Moncton is the last date of U2's current tour. Bono told CNN he is retiring just before the show and is passing along lead singer duties to Astley only for the Moncton gig.

"I'm asking fans in Moncton to give Rick a chance and not ask for refunds. I think they'll love him," Bono said. For more on the CNN report, click here.

Hump Day: If you love Mondays you must be doing something right

2011-03-31T08:27:00.006-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Editorial section

I sometimes wonder how people who have lost the desire to be in their jobs and feel trapped get through the day. It must be awful.

There are many people who keep their jobs just because of the salary. It's worse when you have a job you hate but make so much money that it's the only reason you stay. If you're not making a lot of money, I can imagine you would find it hard to feel sorry for someone who hates their job and is making close to $100,000 per year. Poor baby, right?

I've known people who've been making close to that and who leave their job because their heart wasn't in it. It wasn't their passion. They were dying inside and they weren't fulfilled. Sure, their wallet was in good shape, but their heart and mind weren't.

It's important to work in something you're passionate about.

Like many people, I've had well-paid jobs in the past that I just wasn't very excited about. One in particular, I remember as not being a good fit from the get-go. I knew it wasn't for me even when I applied for it, but being financially stressed at the time (as opposed to making the Oprah-level money I am now), I didn't care. All I saw were the dollar signs.

Unfortunately, dollar signs didn't equal passion when I eventually got the job and found myself behind a desk doing something I could not have cared less about. I was bored out of my tree. The duties didn't interest me in the least. I could barely muster up the courage to show up at work. Don't get me wrong, it was an important job, but I had applied for all the wrong reasons. Well, there was only one reason: the almighty dollar.

I often wonder why people who so clearly detest what they do stay in their jobs. Perhaps it's the money. Perhaps it's the routine. Maybe the comfort, even. Either you need the job to actually put food on the table, or you make so much that you need to keep the job to maintain the lifestyle to which you are accustomed.

The best option - at least theoretically - is that you're working in a job that you love, that pays a fortune and that fulfills you to an unlimited degree. Who wouldn't want that, after all? When you see people going above and beyond and working crazy hours at a job they love, it really isn't work for them. It's joy.

Life is too short to be doing something you hate. It isn't worth it. Depending on what religion you adhere to, we (may) only have one life to live on this Earth. Even if you believe - like some do - that we return to live many lives, then at least it's important to make this particular life worth it - even if you'll be back soon for another mission.

As much as I love social networking websites such as Facebook, I'm always dismayed at the number of negative messages every Monday morning. "Mondays suck!" "Mondays are awful!" "I hate Mondays!" If you hate Mondays that much, you should do yourself a favour (and I mean that literally) and get another job.

We're supposed to look forward to the future. We're supposed to look forward to Mondays. If you love your job, Monday should be the best day of the week, not the worst. I loved school and loved being with my friends during the school year. While I looked forward to weekends, I always remember loving Mondays ever since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. It's the start of new week, new opportunities and new possibilities.

Everyone has bad weeks, but bad weeks aren't supposed to last forever. Bad weeks aren't supposed to turn into bad months... and bad years... and then a bad lifetime. I'm sure you've heard of those who spend their entire lives in a job they hate just because of the pension. There's nothing sadder than that. And then when they finally retire and are able to live their real life, they get sick... or drop dead.

Working just to retire is no way to live, unless of course you love what you do. And if you're lucky enough to be one of those people, you are very fortunate.

Working in a job you love isn't always possible. Sometimes you just have to eat and pay the rent. We've all done that. And, quite frankly, there's nothing wrong with that. There's dignity in work. There's honour in good hard work. We learn things. We get things accomplished. We meet people - many of whom become friends.

But it's not normal to want to be sick to your stomach before you walk through the doors of your office at the beginning of every week.

Some of my best writing gigs right now don't pay as much when compared to some corporate work I do, but they're fun and I look forward to them. In short, I love them because they are part of my passion.

I've been writing since I was a kid. I used to scribble gibberish on paper (some would say that I still do that) because I thought that was "handwriting." Today, I love the fact that writing has become my career. I look forward to every moment of it - whether it's for the newspaper or another client.

I used to have a cleaning lady who told me point blank: "I love to clean!" In fact, you could have performed surgery on my floors after she was done with them. I always admired what she said that day. It doesn't matter what you do as long as it's your passion.

If Monday is your favourite day of the week, you're doing something right!

Sam Tsui: Born This Way (cover)

2011-03-29T07:38:00.004-03:00

Here's another great video by Sam Tsui -- this time a cover of Lady Gaga's Born This Way.

Beloved Canadian actor and comedian Roger Abbott dies at 64

2011-03-27T13:00:00.009-03:00

Fans of Royal Canadian Air Farce will be deeply saddened and shocked to hear of the untimely death of Roger Abbott, one of the founders of the comedy troupe. He was 64. He died Saturday night in Toronto after secretly battling leukemia for 14 years. Other than to a few close friends and family, he only disclosed his illness about a week ago. A truly sad day for Canadian culture and entertainment. Click here for a CBC News report on his death.

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 24, 2011, episode — Top 11 results show

2011-03-25T10:35:00.002-03:00

Wow! Shock eliminations on American Idol don’t normally happen this early in the season, but it happened last night in what will go down as a night of surprises. One of the clear frontrunners found himself singing for his survival during the Judges’ Save. What went so badly for Casey Abrams?

Click one of the links below to read about what happened on a night of high drama!

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 23, 2011, episode — Top 11 performance show

2011-03-24T09:10:00.004-03:00

Last night on American Idol, the Top 11 contestants sang not only for their future on the show itself, but for a pretty lucrative summer job: the American Idol Top 10 summer tour.

Even though there was a Top 13 this year, only the Top 10 get to go on tour across the U.S. -- with a few Canadian cities usually thrown in there, too.

Overall, the quality of the performances last night was outstanding, with a few standout performances by Paul, Scotty, James, Lauren and Naima.

How did everyone do? What did the judges have to say? Who did I pick to go home? Click one of the links below to read my review:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

Charlieissocoollike: Thoughts from home

2011-03-23T15:02:00.000-03:00

Screen legend Elizabeth Taylor dead at 79

2011-03-23T10:23:00.003-03:00

Actress Elizabeth Taylor, winner of two Oscars for best actress, died today at the age of 79. She had been ill for some time with congestive heart failure. Here she is in one of her most famous roles as Cleopatra.

And here she is from a television commercial for her perfume White Diamonds:

American Idol castoff Karen Rodriguez to fans: "Keep Following Me!"

2011-03-21T21:35:00.001-03:00

Hairy Tease Productions' Sylvia will make you howl with laughter!

2011-03-21T19:18:00.003-03:00

(Click on the poster for a larger version.)

If you've ever loved a dog, don't miss Hairy Tease Productions' presentation of the Broadway comedy Sylvia from Tuesday, March 29, through Saturday, April 2, at Théâtre l'Escaouette, 170 Botsford Street, Moncton (855-0001).

Written by A.R. Gurney, Sylvia is a hilarious play centred around a four-legged, salty-mouthed home-wrecking Labradoodle named Sylvia who bounds into the life of a middle-aged couple and turns it upside down. Sarah Jessica Parker originated the Broadway role of Sylvia to rave critical reviews.

"I can honestly say the character of Sylvia is one of the funniest theatrical roles ever created for an actress... and Jane Messervier nails it!" says Hairy Tease director Mike Granville of Messervier, a Moncton teacher who plays the title role.

"Lawren Campbell's three roles as macho dog owner, uppity society matron and an androgynous psychotherapist are pure outrageous fun, while Rhonda Whittaker and Wayne Fairchild are wonderfully real as the dog-besieged couple."

Because the fictional Sylvia was rescued as a stray, Hairy Tease Productions is devoting part of its lobby space to photos and information about real-life Greater Moncton SPCA pets available for adoption. Patrons are also welcome to make donations to the Greater Moncton SPCA while at the show.

Tickets are going fast, especially for the Friday and Saturday shows. Tickets are $15 (plus service charge) and are now on sale at all Moncton Ticketing Network outlets as well as Read's Newsstand in Riverview.

For more information about past and upcoming, click here to visit the Hairy Tease Productions website.

Country singer Ferlin Husky dead at 85

2011-03-21T18:02:00.002-03:00

Country singer Ferlin Husky (1925-2011) died on Thursday, March 17, at the age of 85. Here he is singing one of his best-known hits:

Welcome spring 2011!

2011-03-20T20:21:00.003-03:00

If you're reading this, it means it's spring -- which arrived at 8:21 p.m. Atlantic / 7:21 p.m. Eastern this evening! Happy spring!

Annoying Orange: Fortune cookie

2011-03-18T16:04:00.000-03:00

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 17, 2011, episode — Top 12 results show

2011-03-18T15:48:00.003-03:00

Last night, the Top 12 found out who was safe… and who was going home. One unlucky contestant was shown the door and was not saved by the judges — although it wasn’t unanimous and the contestant did have support from at least one judge. I got the bottom three right: Haley Reinhart, Karen Rodriguez and Naima Adedapo… and chose Haley to go home. While I managed to get the bottom three right, though, was Haley the contestant sent home?

Click one of the links below to find out:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here.

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Not available online.

Watch the Top 11 perform next Wednesday at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox. The contestant eliminated next week will just miss out on being part of the Top 10 summer tour.

Hump Day: As the world gets smaller and smaller, people get ever closer

2011-03-17T10:13:00.003-03:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

This week, many columns you read will likely be about the recent Japanese earthquake and tsunami that have devastated many communities, killed tens of thousands of people and changed lives forever.

It’s almost unfathomable. Online videos show the unforgiving force of the tsunamis pushing water at hundreds of kilometres per hour toward shore . . . then striking with unforgiving viciousness, dragging homes, cars, people and animals along with it to almost certain death and destruction.

Some wonder whether or not God is trying to tell us something – that, somehow, he is sending us a message to “smarten up and fly right,” so to speak. Others say it’s just nature – and nature causes as much havoc around the world as it ever has.

Every year, natural disasters strike innocent people. They always have and they always will.

If you read old newspapers from the 1700s and 1800s before Morse code via telegraph became common, you would have likely read sentences such as this: “Word has reached this newspaper of a great natural disaster in the far-away country of China that has caused great damage. Many thousands of Chinese people have perished, including innocent women and children. The disaster happened six weeks ago and was told to a local newspaper editor who met sailors unloading goods at the local dock.”

Before there was a telegraph on every corner, all we had was word of mouth.

Oh, how those who lived back then would sit in amazement at today’s technology!

Not only would you know about the event almost immediately through Twitter and Facebook, but you’d actually see images within minutes via YouTube or breathtaking photos taken from outer space and broadcast on one of the many 24/7 news channels.

Back then, people just didn’t hear of these things. I remember my aunt telling me that, as a girl, she had a pen pal in Minto. They would write back and forth to each other. While the drive between Prince Edward Island and Minto these days is done all the time, in the 1930s and 1940s it was a major undertaking. Minto might as well have been China and I remember my aunt telling me how “exotic” it was – if you can imagine Minto ever being called that – to be corresponding with someone from so far away.

The world is such a small place these days.

You can hop on a plane and be on the other end of the world in less than day. You can talk over the Internet to loved ones for free, bypassing the telephone companies who years ago would have charged you a fortune for doing that. Today, using programs such as Skype, we can talk to – and see! – people next door or on the other side of the planet for nothing more than the monthly Internet bill that you’re paying anyway.

One of the banes of my existence years ago was the telephone bill. Some people are serial killers. I was a serial talker. I loved keeping in touch with friends and family. The easiest and fastest way to do so was by calling long distance. I’d easily rack up $150 to $200 per month in long distance bills every single month.

Today, you’d have to practically live on a telephone 24/7 to get a long distance bill like that – especially if you’re calling from a landline at home. Long distance rates on cell phones are another matter and remain quite expensive.

But you can get long distance rates these days that are next to nothing and even sometimes included in the price of your monthly service.

I’m upgrading my home telecom services to fibre optic in the next couple of weeks and come to find out that long distance calls within the province are included in the price! It’s amazing . . . because years ago I would have killed for that.

If you’re like me and you’re on Facebook a lot or send text messages, you’ve probably noticed quite an interesting phenomenon: your telephone rarely rings anymore.

The art of the spoken conversation has moved online. No need to call your friend to find out what he or she did today . . . just check their Facebook status update!

I have an aunt who’s new to Facebook and my uncle mentioned that their telephone had stopped ringing since she started keeping in touch with their children and grandchildren on Facebook.

Today, everything is so instantaneous. We know everything. It’s information overload. I think we can be forgiven if that sometimes it hurts our heads!

The things people worry about today – like an earthquake in Japan – never even registered with people in the 1700s. Some overcome with the sadness and horror of the images coming out of Japan this week may think those in the 1700s had it easy.

But then again, you could have died from an infected tooth abscess back then, whereas today you take few days’ worth of antibiotics and you’re better.

Centuries ago, just because people didn’t know about awful things happening at the other end of the world, it didn’t mean they weren’t happening. They were. Women were still being raped. Prisoners of war were still being tortured. Ignorance isn’t bliss.

The world is so much smaller than it once was.

While it may have led to information overload, it has made us more human and, I dare say, more compassionate.

In 1945, we revelled in beating the Japanese, our sworn enemy in the Second World War.

Who back then would have ever thought that, in 2011, we would be weeping for them and sending them money and prayers to help them in their hour of dire need?

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 16, 2011, episode — Top 12 performance show

2011-03-17T09:50:00.004-03:00

This week, the Top 12 performed songs from the year they were born.

There were several really good performances last night. James, Stefano, Pia, Scotty and Casey stood out — although Casey’s usual joyful performance was quite an angry one. I think it still worked, but it was a departure from “Happy Casey”.

To find out what everyone sang, how I thought they did, what the judges had to say and who I think is going home, read Idol Chatter in one of the newspapers below:

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here.

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Article not available online today.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

2011-03-17T09:17:00.000-03:00

Don't forget to put your clocks ahead by one hour tonight!

2011-03-12T11:56:00.008-04:00

You know spring is nearly here when it's time to change the clocks! Daylight Saving Time starts tonight, so don't forget to put your clocks AHEAD by one hour before you go to bed tonight or at 2 a.m. Sunday morning, whichever is earlier. Click here for more information on Daylight Saving Time.

Ask KevJumba 2

2011-03-11T22:59:00.001-04:00

Ha! Richard Marx!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 10, 2011, episode — Top 13 results show

2011-03-11T10:52:00.006-04:00

Last night, Season 10's first contestant was eliminated from American Idol. It's never fun to be eliminated before the Top 10 because that group gets to go on tour this summer, leading to extra exposure and -- of course -- money!

I predicted that Haley Reinhart, Thia Megia and Ashthon Jones would be in the bottom three and that Ashthon was going home. I got two of the bottom three correct... and was I correct about who went home? Click one of the links below to find out!

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Click here

The Top 12 performs next Wednesday at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern on Fox!

Terrifying tsunami video from Sendai, Japan

2011-03-11T10:41:00.004-04:00

This is Associated Press news footage from today's earthquake-induced tsunami in Sendai, Japan. Terrifying!

Hump Day: March break, one of the earliest harbingers of the coming spring

2011-03-10T22:59:00.003-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

It’s March break. Can’t you tell? The traffic has practically disappeared from city streets and half the people you’re trying to contact are on vacation. When did March break become the new Christmas? Or the new summer vacation?

When I was a kid, it seems to me that no one went away on March break. Or maybe it was just us. I know that my parents certainly never took vacation during that time. My March breaks were spent either reading or watching more television than I thought was humanly possible. I would end the week bug-eyed and caught up on every soap opera on the air.

Today, practically everyone I know goes down south, skiing or somewhere else to either get away from the brutal Canadian winter or take advantage of it. I went skiing once. Once, and only once. My rear-end still hurts – and that’s from about 20 years ago. I was wearing jeans and fell so hard that I left a blue streak about a mile long down the mountain.

I’m not a big traveller, but even if I decided to go down south, I think I’d end up having a nervous breakdown from all the photos of stray cats and dogs I see people posting on Facebook. I don’t think I’d be able to handle seeing all those animals out there fending for themselves, even though I’m pretty sure the tourists take pity on them and feed them.

I’d end up taking them all home in my suitcase. “Excuse me, sir, but your luggage is peeing.” How do you explain that one?

All it did last week is snow. This week, it’s been raining non-stop. The snow is filthy, but at least it’s melting. In other words, it’s a typical March break. Spring is on the horizon and we’re revelling in the fact that the record amount of snow that buried us all winter is now melting at the speed of light.

And, like every year, everyone is getting lulled into the supposed “fact” that winter is over. With the bare pavement showing on city streets, people will start taking out their bicycles for quick rides around town. There are even tulips and other plants sprouting up through the snow. Spring is like puberty. It’s going to happen sooner or later. You can’t stop it. It’s just the natural course of things.

But let’s not get lulled into complacency. Spring isn’t completely here just yet. Sure, the clocks are going ahead this weekend. Sure, the snow is melting. Sure, Easter is just around the corner, although incredibly late this year. But we’re still in for a few storms.

These are the storms where people get really cranky, including me. I don’t mind winter, but March blizzards would test the patience of God, I think. At least with all this melting we’ll have somewhere to put it.

One day this month, however, we’ll head outside and smell that tell-tale sign of spring: melting dog droppings. Yup, you know you’re Canadian when you shed a tear at the first whiff of defrosted dog mess. They should bottle that aroma. OK, well maybe not, but it’s always one of the first signs of springs – albeit a gross one.

The clocks go ahead by one hour this weekend. On Monday, we’ll all be whining about losing an hour of sleep. There’ll be an increased number of car accidents. We’ll all be yawning at work. But oh man . . . it will be so nice to have that extra hour of sunlight at the end of the day. Of course, it’s not really an extra hour, because we would have lost one in the morning, but still… you know what I mean.

And what’s up with Easter being so late this year? It’s bad enough that we’re one of the have-not provinces when it comes to the lack of a February holiday, but it only makes matters worse when Easter is in the middle of August like it is this year. OK, so it’s really in late April, but it feels like August.

Have you ever wondered why Easter changes dates every year? According to Christianity.com, it’s because “in Western Christianity, Easter is always celebrated on the Sunday immediately following the Paschal Full Moon date of the year… In actuality, the date of the Paschal Full Moon is determined from historical tables, and has no correspondence to lunar events… The Paschal Full Moon can vary as much as two days from the date of the actual full moon, with dates ranging from March 21 to April 18. As a result, Easter dates can range from March 22 through April 25 in Western Christianity.”

So there you have it. Clear as mud! This year, Easter is April 24, only one day off from its latest possible date. Figures, eh, that it had to happen this year when we were inundated with snow. Makes the winter that much longer to get through. At least the weather should be nice by the time Easter comes. The snow should be long gone.

Even though there will be a few more snow storms this winter, the inevitability of spring has no choice but to come to fruition. Fear not, it will happen. The snow and the ice will melt. The dog poop will too. The tulips will sprout up from the ground. We’ll see the curbs again and won’t need to risk our lives backing out of our driveways.

Let’s all hope we can get through the rest of the winter in one piece without biting each other’s head off!

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 9, 2011, episode — Top 13 performance show

2011-03-10T11:01:00.000-04:00

Last night, American Idol’s Top 13 performed. Tonight, one of them will win the inglorious honour of being the first to be sent home. Never fun!

My choices for the bottom three are Ashthon Jones, Haley Reinhart and Thia Megia, with Ashthon as my strong choice for the contestant going home.

Click one of the links below to read my review and what the judges had to say!

Moncton Times & Transcript: Click here

Fredericton Daily Gleaner: Not available online

Charlieissocoollike: Comic Relief fail

2011-03-08T09:39:00.000-04:00

Idol Chatter review of American Idol’s March 3, 2011, episode — Top 13 announced!

2011-03-04T16:31:00.001-04:00

Last night, 11 members of the Top 24 were sent home as the Top 13 singers were announced on American Idol. After 40 million votes, viewers chose five male and five female contestants, while the judges chose another two females and one male. To read about how it all went down, click on one of the links below to read today’s Idol Chatter column:

Times & Transcript: American Idol picks Top 13 contestants

Reaching the point where we just don't care if it snows again

2011-03-03T13:32:00.003-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

At this point - especially if you live in the Greater Moncton area - you just have to sit back and laugh at every snow storm that hits us. They just keep coming and coming like some sort of cruel, sick, sadistic joke.

In fact, they've been so frequent and non-stop that I've just thrown up my hands in surrender. I don't care if it snows every day until the end of April (well, I do... but you know what I mean), because I'm at the point now where we might as well go for a world record if it's going to keep snowing like this.

Yes, we're at the point where we might as well go for the gusto. This winter is kind of like the moment just before you decide to shave your head if you're going bald. At some point, you decide it's inevitable, so you help it along. Or if you're off your diet and decide, "To heck with it!" and eat an entire cake.

Well, we're at that point in the winter of 2010-2011.

Dear Mother Nature: Let's go for the world record. Has anyone seen the mountain of snow in the Highfield Square parking lot? It will still be there in June. And how about the so-called "snow dump" off Harrisville Boulevard? They could hold Olympic ski events there, I think.

This is one of those good ol' winters that our parents and grandparents keep talking about. You know... the ones where they claim to have walked to school with snow up to their eyeballs on Christmas Day? Of course, it was uphill both ways. And this was intermingled with stories of having to get up so early to do their chores that they hadn't even gone to bed yet.

Yeah, Mother Nature, we're so far past the point of no return at this point that you might as well wallop us into the next universe with snow until May. Make us good and ornery for when the tourists come this summer.

I can just imagine some poor unsuspecting tourist arriving here in July to find the entire province angry, pale and bitter after having spent the past seven months indoors, isolated from the world due to blizzard after blizzard. On the plus side, though, we'd have arms the size of tree trunks from all the shovelling! That would explain the record number of New Brunswickers participating in the World Arm Wrestling Championships this year.

I can't see cars driving by my house anymore. The banks are so high that the only things I can see are high-sided vehicles such as city buses and delivery trucks. And it goes without saying that there is nowhere left to put the snow that I have to shovel every five minutes.

What's a Canadian to do? I really don't mind the snow, but this is ridiculous. And while it's ridiculous, I can't do anything about it, so I just sit back and laugh.

I do admit, though, that the amount of snow on my roof concerns me a bit - not because I really think there's anything to worry about, but because everyone is so paranoid about it that I'm starting to doubt the confidence I have in the construction of my house and garage. But here's the thing: I literally cannot get around my house to clean the snow off the roof even if I wanted to. I'd need snowshoes!

Not a bad idea, actually. Snowshoes would be quite practical at times like this. At least they would help me get around to the side of the house to check out my heat pump, propane tank and the exhaust of my dryer. For all I know, they're under 10 feet of snow.

I usually get my propane tank filled in January and have seen the truck slow down a few times in front of my house and just keep going. Getting access to the tank before spring seems pretty much like a dream right now. Until the snow melts a bit, it will be impossible to get to. Luckily, I have a big tank so I doubt very much that I'll run out, but maybe the propane company could outfit their drivers with snowshoes to make it easier to access tanks this winter. The lack of access must be hurting sales a bit.

Last fall, weather prognosticators were predicting an "old-fashioned winter" like we used to have - one with lots of snow. Boy, were they on the money! This has been a brutal year. While the plowing companies got away with murder last year with no storms during the entire latter part of the winter, they're paying for it this year - in spades! And with near-record high prices for gasoline, it couldn't come at a worse time.

Mother Nature: I want a divorce. You're normally an OK kinda gal. You get temperamental just like most people - me included - but you've gone completely off your medication this winter. We have to break up.

And Old Man Winter: I know a nice warm place for you to take a nap - the local crematorium.

As for Jack Frost, the next time I see you painting decorations on my window, I'm getting out my fly swatter. You'd better be wearing a swatter-proof vest and a helmet, because I've pretty much had it. And trust me, you won't survive getting swatted now that all this shovelling has given me so much upper body strength. You won't know what hit you. Nothing will save your skinny little cold behind from getting splattered against my icy window.

And to the month of February, 2011, don't let the door hit you on the way out. We'll never forget you, but for all the wrong reasons.

Idol Chatter review of American Idol's March 2, 2011, episode -- Top 12 girls

2011-03-03T11:24:00.004-04:00

Last night on American Idol, the Top 12 girls performed for their survival. Tonight, five will go through to the final Top 12, while others will be given an opportunity to perform on next week's wildcard show.

There were definitely some excellent performances last night, while two or three were just not up to snuff! One contestant got the only standing ovation from the judges of the two live performance shows aired so far this season.

Tune in to Fox at 9 p.m. Atlantic / 8 p.m. Eastern tonight to find out which 10 contestants were chosen by voters to move on in the competition!

To read my review of each performance and the judges' comments, click below:

Times & Transcript: Top females sing to stay in competition

Daily Gleaner: Five contestants will make their way to next round

Idol Chatter review of American Idol's March 1, 2011, episode -- Top 12 guys

2011-03-02T11:16:00.008-04:00

Last night was the first live performance show of American Idol's 10th season and we were treated to songs by the 12 remaining male contestants. Each performed a song of their own choice. With only a couple of exceptions, everyone did quite well. The only contestant who was roundly criticized was Jordan Dorsey.

Of the 12 who performed last night, viewer votes will put through five. The same goes for the female contestants tonight. Of the two or three spots remaining (still rumours of a Top 13 vs a Top 12), they will be chosen by the judges as wildcards.

To find out what the boys sang, my thoughts and an overview of what the judges said, click the links below:

Times & Transcript: Top 12 contestants perform

Daily Gleaner: Competition for Top 12 heats up (judges' comments were largely edited out - FYI)

The Top 12 female contestants perform tonight at 9 p.m. on Fox.

Idol Chatter column returns to Moncton Times & Transcript and Fredericton Daily Gleaner

2011-03-01T14:54:00.007-04:00

With American Idol's live voting shows starting up again this week, today marks the return of Idol Chatter to the Moncton Times & Transcript and Fredericton Daily Gleaner. Columns will run in the newspapers on Thursdays and Fridays.

This week, however, is a bit of an exception with four columns running consecutively from Tuesday (today) to Friday. The first is today's roundup of what's happened since last season -- new judges, slightly different format -- an overview of some early favourites and my thoughts on what the show needs to give it some extra oomph in its 10th year!

Links to the columns are below.

Times & Transcript: American Idol returns with streamlined format

Daily Gleaner: Idol Chatter returns

I'm looking forward to the next few months of writing about American Idol. Agree or disagree with my analysis and predictions? Feel free to post a comment. Comments are moderated, so they may not appear immediately.

Defending Justin Bieber: Let's stop knocking a teen who's doing almost everything right

2011-02-24T23:12:00.004-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Editorial section

Being a famous celebrity has its perks.

There's the money, of course. There's the fact that you likely can get the best seat in your favourite restaurant. There are all the screaming fans who are happy to see you.

There are also drawbacks, such as the people who hate you just because you're famous or because they believe you don't deserve your lot in life even though you work like a dog.

I posted a pro-Justin Bieber message on Facebook and Twitter the other day that got quite a response.

As an adult, I've been appalled at the venom this kid seems to draw out of people. By the way some people react, you'd think that he just walked up to your brand new car and keyed it, then relieved himself in your coffee cup.

Justin Bieber is only 16. He's Canadian. From everything I've seen or read about him, he seems to be a decent kid. I've seen him on talk shows. Quite frankly, he's funny and self-deprecating. He doesn't seem to take himself too seriously. Talk show hosts love him because he's a great guest and ratings usually go up when he's on.

Even if you're not into his brand of music - pure bubblegum pop - you can at least enjoy his interviews.

And if you can't bring yourself to enjoy his talk shows appearances, have fun laughing at the girls' reactions whenever he wiggles a finger or shakes his head to rearrange his famous mop of hair. The girls scream. They love it. I don't laugh to deride the girls. I just like watching their reaction to someone they idolize.

But the pure hatred and venom Justin Bieber seems to draw out of certain people is a social phenomenon in itself. They hate his music, so they hate him.

If you're a 40-year-old male, his music is not geared toward you, trust me. So just take a pill, relax and be happy for the kid.

There are certainly those who think that by spewing hatred toward him, that it somehow solidifies the "fact" that they're heterosexual.

Buddy, if you're at the point of trashing Justin Bieber just to try to prove to others that you're straight, you may want to look at yourself in the mirror and come to terms with a few things.

Some people hate him because he's over-exposed. Yeah, he's kind of everywhere, isn't he? He has the most-watched video (by far!) on YouTube. He's second only to Lady Gaga for the most followers on Twitter and also has a legion of rabid followers on Facebook. If he'd put a message on Twitter asking his fans to kill you, you'd have a few thousand angry teenage girls knocking at your door.

While this may sound like the start of certain people's favourite dreams, angry Bieber fans would be baring their fangs and carrying sharp knives.

This dream would have no happy ending, trust me.

And no, trashing Justin Bieber isn't going to make you any cuter. The transparency of some people's jealousy is evident. I mean, c'mon... he's a cute kid. Anyone would have to admit that. So unless you're reasonably attractive, just shut up about him having lots of fans who think he's cute.

Some people I know who trash him can't sing and are as ugly as sin. And poor, too.

But they sit there and criticize him like he's the cause incarnate of cancer, heart disease, peanut allergies, hemorrhoids and hangnails.

Everyone's welcome to their opinion - that's true - but we also need to remember that sometimes trashing someone reflects worse on you than it does on the person you're targeting.

Who am I to criticize him? He's Canadian and - as a proud Canadian - I'm happy for his worldwide success. He's certainly a good ambassador for the country. He's younger and cuter and richer than I am. I'm supposed to criticize him for that?

Regardless of whether his music is your thing, he does sing well and can play the drums like a possessed demon (in a good way). And he's got nicer hair than most people, especially me. Heck . . . everyone has nicer (and more) hair than me. I guess that's not a bulletin.

I wasn't around when The Beatles arrived on the scene, but I wonder if teenage boys were as vicious toward them as they are against Justin Bieber?

Throngs of girls screamed for The Beatles. Did their boyfriends and male classmates get all critical and jealous to supposedly prove their manhood? Maybe, I'm not sure.

The Beatles, of course, have become legends and have stood the test of time to the "Nth" degree, but at the time they were probably also over-exposed. Whether Justin Bieber has any staying power remains to be seen. If he doesn't, I hope he has good money managers and keeps his head screwed on straight.

If he does, he'll go from being a very wealthy seemingly well-adjusted teenager to an even wealthier well-adjusted adult.

Luckily, he doesn't seem to take himself too seriously and seems to play well with others. He has said he wants to be a good role model for kids. Heck, your kids could do worse. They could worship bad-behaviour train wrecks such as Charlie Sheen, Lindsay Lohan or Snooki.

In the grand scheme of things, Bieber is harmless.

I think we should all try to tone down the anti-Bieber rhetoric. We trash teens who do bad things. We can't also trash the ones who work hard, behave themselves and try to do some good in the world. Take a deep breath, everyone. He's just a kid, not Satan.

Charlieissocoollike: Fun Science -- The Moon

2011-02-19T18:45:00.000-04:00

Cast of Glee surpasses Elvis's Hot 100 Billboard record

2011-02-18T17:12:00.007-04:00

If anyone was questioning Fox's phenomenon known as Glee, they can pretty much stop now. After only two seasons of weekly multi-song output, the cast of Glee has surpassed Elvis Presley's 108 appearances on the Billboard Hot 100 chart, a feat that can only be considered astonishing in such a short period of time. Whether they have Elvis's staying power is something that is too soon to tell, but -- at least for now -- the "King" has been dethroned by Glee's 113 appearances (as of the chart released February 17, 2011) vs. Elvis's 108.

Here are Glee's five most successful songs based on U.S. digital download sales according to Nielsen SoundScan:

#5: Somebody to Love

#4: Defying Gravity

#3: Teenage Dream

#2: Forget You (with Gwyneth Paltrow)

#1: Don't Stop Believin'

Former ATV Evening News anchor Dave Wright dead at 82

2011-02-17T13:48:00.006-04:00

Maritimers will be saddened to hear of the death of one of the region's best-known broadcasters today. Dave Wright died this morning at the age of 82 after battling cancer. He created ATV's Live at Five in 1982, a show that evolved from Dave Wright's Notebook which debuted in 1976. He left Live at Five in 1986 for a broadcasting job in the U.S. but returned a few years later to anchor the ATV Evening News. He retired for good in 1993.

Happy 78th wedding anniversary to Blondie and Dagwood

2011-02-17T05:00:00.000-04:00

On February 17, 1933, Blondie Boopadoop and Dagwood Bumstead were married despite the protests of Dagwood's rich industrialist family. After getting disowned for marrying "beneath his class", Blondie and Dagwood settled down into domestic bliss with the arrival of son Alexander in 1934 and daughter Cookie in 1941. (Comic srip courtesy of the Library of Congress. Click on the strip for a larger version.)

What good is getting an award if you don't scream and cry?

2011-02-17T00:01:00.000-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

The Grammys were held on Sunday. The Oscars are being presented in less than two weeks. Earlier, there were the Golden Globes, the SAG Awards, American Music Awards, People's Choice Awards and a bunch of other more obscure prizes given out to celebrities during what is called "awards season."

I love watching awards shows. I even love the fake scripted banter between the presenters. I love the awkward faces of those who lose and pretend to be happy about it. I especially love seeing really grateful winners have a difficult time getting two words out during their acceptance speech... not because I want to make fun of them afterwards... but because they're sincerely touched by the award.

If you're an awards show junkie like me, nothing burns my britches more than some snotty celebrity who gets up on stage after winning and acts like they were just given a traffic ticket rather than having just won an Oscar, Emmy or Grammy that has been voted on by their peers. When I win my Oscar, I can assure you that I'll leap on stage like a rabbit hopped up on every drug known to mankind and scream incoherently into the microphone as my mascara-stained tears roll down my face.

And when the music would start to play as my cue to leave the stage, I'd give the orchestra leader a look so evil that it could only mean he'll be having an Oscar surgically removed from a certain crevice in his body if he doesn't stop the music immediately. This is my moment, buddy... don't ruin it.

I'm no singer, but when I win my Grammy for best spoken word recording - probably for reading some really deep philosophical book I don't understand - I will again freak out and cry. I have a reputation to uphold.

My Emmy will probably be won in the writing category, surely for some made-for-television movie that made the ladies faint, grown men cry and a generation of young people turn to scriptwriting. Yeah, that will be sweet, too. By then, I'll be calmer since it would be my third time on stage and I'd be getting a bit used to it by then. Heck, I'd probably even be expecting it. I'd still bawl a little bit, though.

Then, the last trophy in the quadruple crown of entertainment would be the Tony Award for my one-man show on Broadway. The entire play would be me sitting on a chair placed in the middle of the stage. It will be a two-hour monologue written entirely by me and also acted out by me. I'll make people laugh. I'll make them cry. People will be screaming with laughter. People will be wracked in gut-wrenching sobs. A few people will probably have heart attacks and strokes and drop dead in the audience.

Oh, it will be grand, I tell you.

Well, maybe not the heart attacks and strokes part. That wouldn't be fun. . and would probably distract the audience a bit, especially those sitting right next to the poor people who get stricken.

And when I'd accept my Tony, there would - of course - be a prolonged standing ovation because of my having achieved the last elusive jewel in that entertainment award crown. I would, of course, receive the Tony from Whoopi Goldberg, the last entertainer to have achieved this feather in her cap way back in 2002. It hasn't been done since - and maybe it won't be again until I eventually do it.

Now, I can assure you that people will want to watch me win my awards. My acceptance speeches will be heartfelt, tearful and pretty much hysterical. You'll barely be able to understand a word I say. But isn't that the fun part of awards shows? Like I said, if there's something that drives me nuts, it is when someone wins a huge award and gets up on stage to make their acceptance speech and they're about as excited as the last time they changed the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom.

I'm screaming at the television, "Cry! Scream! Faint! Show some emotion!" Heck, if I just won a huge award that made my asking price for roles double, I'd be crying with happiness, I can assure you!

Yeah, I love awards shows... and I love it when people show some emotion when winning. I loved it when a shocked Adrien Brody won the best actor Oscar and smooched an equally shocked Halle Barry on the lips for what seemed like an eternity. And speaking of Halle Barry, who could forget the night she became the first African-American woman to win a best actress Oscar? She was a complete mess. And I loved it.

And remember when Susan Lucci won her best daytime actress Emmy after an astounding 19 nominations? Lots of tears from her and a lengthy show of love from the crowd. Look it up on YouTube. It's a great moment.

I'd be all for having a panel of judges yanking an award out of a winner's hands if they don't show enough gratitude and emotion. There should be a 15-second timer that starts as soon as the winner arrives at the podium. If there have been no tears or other visible gratitude by the end of 15 seconds, a gong would sound and the award immediately taken from them and given to one of the other nominees.

That should get me the crying and hysterics I want to see! If I'm going to sit through a four-hour Academy Awards telecast, the least the winners can do is have brain aneurysms live on television after hearing their name called as the winner.

Happy Valentine's Day... from the Annoying Orange!

2011-02-14T05:00:00.001-04:00

Rick Mercer's snow day rant

2011-02-10T10:54:00.001-04:00

Brilliant!

As time passes the King of Clutter becomes the Knight of Neat

2011-02-10T09:48:00.003-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Moncton Times & Transcript
Editorial section

It's so odd how we change as we age. As I was waiting for some servers to pour my coffee at a shop the other day, I overheard them talking about how neat some of their friends were now, but that years ago their apartments were complete disasters. I know the feeling. I once had a complete aversion to washing dishes. I have no idea why.

One summer in the 1980s, I literally went an entire month without doing my dishes - from one long weekend to another. Let's just say that the dishes at the bottom of the pile weren't pretty when I finally got around to it. Today, the dishes are washed immediately after a meal . . . and sometimes even before I eat if there are only a few.

Years ago, credit card bills would arrive in the mail and be tossed aside carelessly on a pile. They'd be paid on time, but I'd never check what had been charged and only the minimum payment was made.

Today, every receipt is kept and checked against the statement. If there are any discrepancies whatsoever, I fix them in my own records or call the bank immediately. And yes, even if it's just a penny. Minimum payments are no longer an option. The card is paid off as I go. Paying interest was once a fact of life. These days, I can't stand to pay a cent of interest on a credit card and go to great lengths to ensure that I don't.

When I was a teenager, I used to hate shovelling snow. I remember getting growled at many times by my father for not doing it. These days, the last snowflake has barely hit the ground and I'm outside cleaning up. And yes, the front walkway to my house gets shovelled out, too. It would drive me crazy not to have the front walkway done - not because it's ever used, but because of fire and emergency concerns. Only having one doorway available as an exit in a burning house would make me lose sleep at night. I've lived in my house for 10 years and can remember not shovelling the front walkway the first year I was here. I vowed never to do that again after lying awake at night a few times worrying about an exit strategy in case of a fire.

I may sound a bit like a worry wart, but talk to any first responders and they'll likely have horror stories of doors blocked by snow during an emergency. I don't want my obituary to read, "Dearly beloved Mr. Cormier was killed by an unshovelled front walkway that impeded firefighters from pulling him out of his burning house."

I've written before about my office and how incredibly junky it was for years. Papers were strewn about everywhere. Literally years worth of filing was piled up in boxes. Taxes remained undone. Receipts were lost. Countless money and time were wasted looking for things.

Today, I'm one proudly organized man! My files are in pristine order. I can find anything quickly and efficiently. The only filing that isn't done is contained in a file called, well, "filing," that is usually done at least once per month. More often than not, the "filing" file is empty.

The last bastion of disorganization is my business receipts folder. The 2010 tax year is the last year for that, though. I've hired a bookkeeper who will be keeping track of everything quarterly so that I don't have to wade through the foot-high mound of receipts every April just before taxes are due. Now, at the end of every December, she'll just have to push a few buttons on her computer and up-to-date numbers will be printed. No more last-minute receipt sorting and calculating.

I was never a neat freak by any means, but the garbage I used to leave lying around my living room in my 20s has long been replaced by a perfectly sane system: put garbage in the garbage can. I know that sounds incredibly easy, but I remember leaving junk hanging around for weeks and going through the house with a garbage bag periodically and filling it with newspapers, fast-food containers, etc.

Having pets has fixed that bad habit pretty well. Anyone who owns pets knows that if you leave anything containing food around that you'll find it torn apart if you don't throw it out right away. Today, the garbage is sorted into dry and wet. I recycle. I return beverage containers for refilling or recycling. I put my dead batteries aside to take to the recycling centre too. Before, everything went in one garbage bag and to the landfill.

Getting older has its benefits, I guess. I'm a lot more organized after having gone through a multiyear messy stage. Ignoring stuff doesn't make it go away. It just gets worse. When it comes to your financial, business and living arrangements, ignorance is not bliss. No elves come out of the woodwork during the night while you're sleeping to fix things up for you. It's up to you to get your affairs in order.

These days, messes drive me nuts, yet there are still areas for improvement. There's that overloaded junk drawer in my kitchen. There are the three (yes, three) piles of books on the nightstand next to my bed in various states of being read. And then there's the little matter of the inside of my refrigerator. While it contains no spoiled or expired food, I can assure you that it's in desperate need of a good old-fashioned scrubbing down by a crusty Russian cleaning woman with arms the size of tree trunks.

The way things are going, if I live to be 100, I'll be the most organized person in the world . . . with a clean refrigerator to boot. I look forward to it.

Halifax entrepreneur Barb Stegemann wows CBC's Dragons' Den with perfume made with Afghani orange blossom oil

2011-02-10T09:23:00.005-04:00

Fans of CBC's popular Dragons' Den show know that the Dragons can be tough cookies. They don't hesitate to throw you out on your ear if you have a bad business idea or can't sell it properly.

On last night's episode, however, Halifax entrepreneur Barb Stegemann wowed them with her perfume made from the oil of orange blossoms from Afghanistan. Preferring to empower rather than give charity, Stegemann made two of the Dragons cry and got the deal she pitched. No bartering from the Dragons on that one. When was the last time you saw that happen?

To learn more about Barb's perfume or to purchase a bottle, visit her The 7 Virtues website.

Congratulations to Barb! Check out the incredible video here:

14-year-old Sungha Jung guitar arrangement of ABBA's Mamma Mia

2011-02-07T05:00:00.000-04:00

It's Monday. If you need to start the day with a smile on your face, look no further than this video by 14-year-old Korean guitarist Sungha Jung. What an incredible talent!

New Old Spice commercial debuts + funny parody

2011-02-06T20:50:00.006-04:00

There's a new Old Spice video out ("Scent Vacation") and it's going viral already.

And check out this funny parody video by 16-year-old Chris Gatewood:

Taylor's lucky day on The Price Is Right

2011-02-06T20:46:00.003-04:00

This video has been around for a couple of years, but I just happened to come across it today.

This is Taylor Randall. He appeared on the Price Is Right on his 19th birthday back in 2008 and let me tell you, it was his lucky day! He won nearly $80,000 against nearly impossible odds -- especially when he won the Mustang... and the wheel! Love Drew Carey's reaction, too!

Crazy amount of snow in Moncton!

2011-02-03T12:37:00.003-04:00

This winter is like those of old... lots and lots of snow... and pretty much all of it since Christmas! Check out this video taken today of how the city is looking now that winter has really taken hold! (Video courtesy of Newschaser.)

Assuming the absolute worst whenever a doctor is involved

2011-02-03T08:00:00.000-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Editorial section

Unless the weather forecast has changed, we're in for another wallop of snow again here in Moncton. The snowbanks are about as high as I've ever seen them. The birds in my back yard had better ration the seeds in the feeder I have out there because I literally can't reach it due to the depth of the snow.

There's one thing about winter... meetings, events and appointments are always tentative. Everything is "weather permitting" these days. From what I'm seeing in the weather forecast, today is supposed to be one of those forget-it-and-stay-home days.

Depending on what time the snow starts, I'm supposed to be getting routine blood tests today. Nothing out of the ordinary - just regular tests to ensure my blood hasn't turned to battery acid.

I made one mistake, though, when my doctor's office called to advise me of the appointment for the blood test. I refused to make an appointment for the results. I told them I'd just wait until my regular appointment later in March. "Just call me if there's something serious," I said.

Well, now, that was just dumb. Why did I say that? I know myself. Every time the telephone rings between today and my next month, I'm going to jump out of my skin, expecting the doctor's office to be on the other end of the line screaming at me to get in right away or my head will explode due to some mysterious illness.

"Brian? It's the doctor's office. He'd like to see you right away. Oh, we woke you? We know it's 5 a.m. but he wants to see you immediately.

This is the most urgent thing that has happened in the history of the world. Naked? We don't care if you sleep naked. Get in your car and come here now. Don't bother getting dressed. They'll eventually strip you naked when they embalm you at the funeral home later today anyway."

I hate it when that happens. With that said, I'm a positive thinker. I always assume things will work out. If an unexpected bill arrives in the mail, somehow the money to pay it shows up, too. If something else goes awry, somehow the solution comes to me either through inspiration or a suggestion from a friend.

But when it comes to the doctor, though, that all goes out the window. If someone were to come up to me and slam me in my left arm with a sledge hammer, I'd end up in the emergency room thinking I was having a heart attack. "But sir, you were clearly hit in the arm with a blunt object. The bone is broken and is sticking out of the skin."

"Nope!" I'd say. "Pain in my left arm means a heart attack. Get out the paddles and give me a boost."

Ever had swollen glands in your neck when you have a cold or the flu? Of course! Everyone has. No big deal. Wait a couple of days and they're gone. Everything is fine. Not with me, though. I lie in bed wondering how I'll handle the chemotherapy and hoping the pillow in the casket doesn't give me a kinked neck.

Then, I promise Baby Jesus that I'll go to church if he cures me. The next day, the swollen glands are gone and then I conveniently forget to go to church.

And people wonder why I don't go outside during thunderstorms. I tell you, the lightning bolts seek me out. "There's the guy who promised to go to church and didn't!" Zap! For a big guy, I can move pretty quickly when I need to, let me tell you.

I hurt my knee once and pretty much decided then and there that a wheelchair and prosthetic leg were in my future.

The bloody thing hurt like the dickens. Oh, I'm sure it was only a twinge compared to what some people with chronic knee pain go through. The second I hurt myself, though, I started the pattern of bargaining with God, Baby Jesus and every other being up there in the sky, from the guy who irons St. Peter's robes to the three wise men. (I have no idea what frankincense and myrrh are, but at least I could use the gold to put a nice plating on my casket.)

So, back to the doctor... I have no idea why I assume the worst. And what was I thinking when I told his office to only call me if there was something serious? If and when they call, I'll burst into tears like a little girl. "I knew it! I'm dying! I want Elton John to sing Candle in the Wind at my funeral. And I want the pope to do the eulogy. If Elton isn't available, get Bette Midler to sing Wind Beneath My Wings."

Of course, to avoid all this hysterical mess, I'm going to call the doctor's office to make an appointment specifically to get the results of the blood tests. In the past, everything has been fine. No sign of anything whatsoever. I have the cholesterol of someone who eats fat-free cardboard three times per day. My blood sugars are perfectly normal, too. I have no reason to believe that anything will be different this time.

That is - until those pesky beings up in the sky decide to get revenge for me not going to church and sneak gravy into the vial before it goes to the laboratory where they test the blood. "Sir, your cholesterol is so high that you are anatomically a pound of butter. You should be shaped like a brick and wrapped in foil."

All this drama, however, could be avoided by a nice big snow storm today. Let's hope everything is closed, because we all know that avoiding blood tests makes illnesses go away, right?

Four-handed acoustic version of Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance"

2011-02-02T20:36:00.002-04:00

These two don't look like they'd be into Lady Gaga... but listen to this! Very cool!

Birds at feeder in Moncton

2011-02-02T17:56:00.003-04:00

Here's a short video of some birds who found the feeder I placed in my front yard a couple of weeks ago. The now had just started. Difficult to see in the video, but it was definitely snowing.

Cute Win Fail: The Goose Whisperer (with Toby Turner)

2011-01-31T21:08:00.001-04:00

Charlieissocoollike: Tumblr weirdness

2011-01-30T17:53:00.001-04:00

Today in history: Fire destroys Moncton's Château à Pape Restaurant

2011-01-30T00:00:00.001-04:00

It was a sad day for Moncton diners on January 30, 2010, when the popular Château à Pape Restaurant was destroyed by fire. The restaurant was eventually demolished.

Here's a video I took on the morning after the fire:

Death: does membership have its benefits?

2011-01-27T11:55:00.002-04:00

Hump Day
By Brian Cormier
Moncton Times & Transcript
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Editorial section

I feel a bit morbid writing about death again so soon after my first column of the year told the story of my aunt's funeral and the sad coincidence of her brother-in-law dying in the church only minutes before her funeral was to start.

Since my aunt died on Dec. 28, however, I seem to be bombarded with death - either of people I knew at one time or people close to friends of mine. There's my aunt Marie followed by her brother-in-law Lionel. Then a friend's close aunt Marie-Anne died on the same day as Lionel. That brought the toll between Dec. 28 and 31 to three.

Since then, another two have passed away. Florence, a former neighbour from my childhood, and Hervé, the father of a good friend of mine. To be truthful, none of these passings seem to have been completely unexpected. From what I knew, most had suffered from deteriorating health over the years.

All five were of my parents' generation, which seems to be dwindling - heck, lately it's been in a downright freefall of death. We all have to go some time, but gee, you could pace yourselves a bit, huh? You don't all have to walk toward the light at once. Maybe there was a two-for-one sale on halos?

I've never been particularly scared to die, although I'm not exactly sticking my finger in any live electrical sockets to tempt fate. I think we all go to heaven - at least eventually. Perhaps there's a sort of limbo or holding pattern our souls can enter until we realize that some of the free will we expressed while we were in human form could have been used a bit better. Some, of course, likely stick around in the holding pattern longer than others.

I hope my afterlife beliefs turn out to be true. I like to think that it's something similar to here, but everyone gets along, there's no illness, sadness or crime . . . and that time means nothing. No one gets old. There's no pollution, either.

And I hope there's more to do than just float around singing in choirs of angels. I mean, that sounds fun and all, but at some point even souls must need a bit of variety. I mean, we need to brush our angel wings, shine our halos and pop in to scare the living daylights out of people we don't like back here on Earth.

Have a bully that annoyed you during high school? Just because you're dead and he's now old doesn't mean you can't get a bit of revenge. Just drop in on him at the nursing home and kick his walker out from under him. No one can see you, so they'll just blame the fall on unsteadiness. While you chuckle invisibly in the corner - your halo shaking with each giggle - he's wondering what happened.

"Yeah buddy," you think to your dead self, "now you know how it feels to get sucker punched."

But seriously, I don't think we remain petty like that when we're dead. Personally, I plan on going to a few Frank Sinatra and Edith Piaf concerts up there in Heaven. I hope when I get to Heaven that the music isn't too loud. In movies, the scenes where people go to Heaven are accompanied by beautiful angelic music, but it's so loud that my glasses shattered. Hopefully we all get headphones and can turn it down a notch.

And I'm sure I'll be kept busy trying to decide which pair of angel wings to wear for my weekly update meeting with Jesus. It would be difficult to miss those meetings, let me tell you. You can't call in sick because there's no illness in Heaven. And since there's no lying in Heaven, you can't even pretend that something else came up.

But really, who'd want to pass up a meeting with Jesus? I certainly wouldn't. I just hope he doesn't expect me to recite Bible passages, though. I've never been good at that. I'll just blurt out a "Thou shalt not kill" periodically and hope for the best.

See, I'm not even dead yet and already I'm freaking out about my weekly update meetings with Jesus - and I don't even know if they actually happen.

Oh, I'm confident they do take place, though. I mean, surely we can't all be going to church for nothing. I haven't been very good at making it to mass lately, so I hope he (Jesus) doesn't have his church attendance book with him.

Mine would be pretty sparse, unfortunately. Then again, I hope it all means something - going to church, I mean. I'd hate to get to Heaven and then find out it was all optional.

Can you imagine St. Peter breaking the news at the Pearly Gates that church-going was optional and isn't considered valid brownie points for entering into the eternal life? If that's the case, I know good ol' St. Pete's probably still got the slap marks on his face from my two grandmothers. I think they only missed church when they were in the middle of childbirth... and then again I'm not so sure they didn't go anyway.

From what I believe, there's no need to eat in Heaven. That's an earthly requirement only. But, since I can only believe that no one gains weight in heaven,

I hope we get to eat what we want if we so choose. Just give me a bottomless bucket of liquorice allsorts and I'll be fine. Carbs don't exist in Heaven, right?

Whatever happens when we die, there's one thing I realize I get older: the welcoming committee is getting bigger and bigger every day. Everyone, it seems, wants to live to a ripe old age, but I think that could be a bit overrated. When all your family and friends are dead, it can get pretty lonely... but that's what they invented television and pets for, I guess.

Scotty McCreery's American Idol audition -- amazing voice!

2011-01-26T23:16:00.004-04:00

Wow! If you saw tonight's American Idol, you were surely impressed by young Scotty McCreery from Garner, North Carolina. He's only 16 but has a deep, rich country voice that could compete with even the biggest country stars. Let's hope he makes it into the finals!

Cute Win Fail: Episode 18 - Mortal Kombat Kitty (with Toby Turner)

2011-01-24T15:43:00.001-04:00

RIP fitness guru Jack Lalanne (1914-2011)

2011-01-24T13:35:00.004-04:00

Fitness guru Jack Lalanne died on Sunday afternoon (yesterday) at the ripe old age of 96. Cause of death was respiratory failure due to pneumonia. In recent years, Lalanne was better known for his juicer machine infomercials.